Tales From The Town #140: A Cast Of Christmas Creatures
Cats
Asleep by the fire, they purred and purred. No one knew where the second one had come from, or where it would go to once the flames turned to smoke.
Crabs
They emerged from Antoine’s cave, their claws wrapped in tinsel, Christmas cheer curiously absent from their crustaceous minds. It would be cruel if it wasn’t surprisingly cute.
Dogs
The indignity of Christmas jumpers outweighed by the unexplained proliferation of treats. They horde their bones and know not why.
Robins
Belligerent little bastards given infinite leeway due to their beauty.
Whale
The whale cares not for Christmas. It dreams of summer, and the stars.
A Cast Of Characters
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #141: Christmas Eve Eve
Father Christmas, an angel, a reindeer, and Claire were sat at the kitchen table.
“Who wants christmas pudding?” Agnes asked.
“No thanks, Mum,” said Father Christmas.
“Not for me,” said the angel.
“Blurgh!” said the reindeer. “Christmas pudding is disgusting!”
“Yes, please,” said Claire eagerly. “I would love some christmas pudding please Mum.”
“But you don’t even like christmas pudding,” said Father Christmas.
“No one likes christmas pudding,” said the angel.
“Christmas pudding is made from mud,” said the reindeer. “And worms!”
“So?” Claire said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling in a faintly unsettling way. There was nothing more frightening than a happy Claire.
“And who wants custard?” asked Agnes’s mum.
“No thanks, Nanny,” said Father Christmas.
“Not for me,” said the angel.
“BLURGH!” said the reindeer, shaking his head and closing his eyes and miming throwing up. “Custard is disgusting times ten. And a half!”
“Yes please, nanny,” said Claire, with a grin as wide as several wolves’s smiles put together all at once.
“But you dont even like custard,” said Father Christmas. “You’re always saying how much you hate it.”
“We all hate it,” said the angel. “Every one hates it.”
“Because it’s yellow,” said the reindeer. “Yellow foods are the worst!”
“What about ice cream?” Claire said.
“Ice cream doesn’t count because it’s cold,” said the reindeer.
“What about cold custard?” said Claire.
The reindeer shook his head and looked a bit ill.
“Anyway shut up I can eat what I want,” said Claire, as her Mum put down a bowl of christmas pudding and custard in front of her. “Even custard!”
“Be careful Claire, it’s hot,” Agnes said. “I don’t want you burning your mouth again.”
“And do you want anything to go on your custard, Claire?’ Nanny asked.
“Can I have some chocolate spread?” Claire said. “And a spoon.”
“What size spoon?” Agnes asked, as she retrieved the chocolate spread from its hiding place in the cupboard under the sink that would now have to be changed because Claire had seen exactly where it was being kept.
“A big one,” Claire said.
“For Claire’s big mouth,” said the angel.
“Don’t upset your sister,” Agnes said, as she put the chocolate spread and a collection of spoons on the table in front of Claire. “Not while Nanny’s here. We all promised to be nice for Christmas, remember?”
“She couldn’t upset me if she tried,” Claire said. “I’m too grown up to get upset any more.”
She reached forward and very carefully selected a spoon. It was a spoon so big she didn’t evem know what it was called. There were teaspoons, and tablespoons, and dessert spoons, and soup spoons, but this was way beyond any of those. This was a spoon so big Claire couldn’t help but hold it up and admire it.
“Are you going to eat any of that?” Father Christmas asked.
“Or are you just going to stare at your stupid big head in that stupid big spoon all day?” the angel asked.
“BLURGH BLURGH BLURGH BLURGH BLURGH” the reindeer said, before explaining that custard was 90% vomit and 10% sick and if you ate it you’d become 90% vomit and 10% sick yourself. Forever.
Claire ignored all this. She simply smiled, turned round to check that Agnes and Agnes’s mum weren’t looking, then quickly stuck her huge spoon in the chocolate spread, scooped out half the jar, ate it in one delicious mouthful, then dumped the spoon in the custard to hide any evidence of her crimes.
“Finished!” Claire said, looking so pleased with herself it was kind of surprising she hadn’t turned into a cat.
“But you haven’t eaten any on it,” Agnes said, as Claire marched triumphantly out of the room. “What a waste.”
“I’ll have it!” Father Christmas, the angel and the reindeer all said at once, together, searching through the spoons to see if there were any more of the really big ones.
Father Christmas, an angel, a reindeer, and Claire were sat at the kitchen table.
“Who wants christmas pudding?” Agnes asked.
“No thanks, Mum,” said Father Christmas.
“Not for me,” said the angel.
“Blurgh!” said the reindeer. “Christmas pudding is disgusting!”
“Yes, please,” said Claire eagerly. “I would love some christmas pudding please Mum.”
“But you don’t even like christmas pudding,” said Father Christmas.
“No one likes christmas pudding,” said the angel.
“Christmas pudding is made from mud,” said the reindeer. “And worms!”
“So?” Claire said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling in a faintly unsettling way. There was nothing more frightening than a happy Claire.
“And who wants custard?” asked Agnes’s mum.
“No thanks, Nanny,” said Father Christmas.
“Not for me,” said the angel.
“BLURGH!” said the reindeer, shaking his head and closing his eyes and miming throwing up. “Custard is disgusting times ten. And a half!”
“Yes please, nanny,” said Claire, with a grin as wide as several wolves’s smiles put together all at once.
“But you dont even like custard,” said Father Christmas. “You’re always saying how much you hate it.”
“We all hate it,” said the angel. “Every one hates it.”
“Because it’s yellow,” said the reindeer. “Yellow foods are the worst!”
“What about ice cream?” Claire said.
“Ice cream doesn’t count because it’s cold,” said the reindeer.
“What about cold custard?” said Claire.
The reindeer shook his head and looked a bit ill.
“Anyway shut up I can eat what I want,” said Claire, as her Mum put down a bowl of christmas pudding and custard in front of her. “Even custard!”
“Be careful Claire, it’s hot,” Agnes said. “I don’t want you burning your mouth again.”
“And do you want anything to go on your custard, Claire?’ Nanny asked.
“Can I have some chocolate spread?” Claire said. “And a spoon.”
“What size spoon?” Agnes asked, as she retrieved the chocolate spread from its hiding place in the cupboard under the sink that would now have to be changed because Claire had seen exactly where it was being kept.
“A big one,” Claire said.
“For Claire’s big mouth,” said the angel.
“Don’t upset your sister,” Agnes said, as she put the chocolate spread and a collection of spoons on the table in front of Claire. “Not while Nanny’s here. We all promised to be nice for Christmas, remember?”
“She couldn’t upset me if she tried,” Claire said. “I’m too grown up to get upset any more.”
She reached forward and very carefully selected a spoon. It was a spoon so big she didn’t evem know what it was called. There were teaspoons, and tablespoons, and dessert spoons, and soup spoons, but this was way beyond any of those. This was a spoon so big Claire couldn’t help but hold it up and admire it.
“Are you going to eat any of that?” Father Christmas asked.
“Or are you just going to stare at your stupid big head in that stupid big spoon all day?” the angel asked.
“BLURGH BLURGH BLURGH BLURGH BLURGH” the reindeer said, before explaining that custard was 90% vomit and 10% sick and if you ate it you’d become 90% vomit and 10% sick yourself. Forever.
Claire ignored all this. She simply smiled, turned round to check that Agnes and Agnes’s mum weren’t looking, then quickly stuck her huge spoon in the chocolate spread, scooped out half the jar, ate it in one delicious mouthful, then dumped the spoon in the custard to hide any evidence of her crimes.
“Finished!” Claire said, looking so pleased with herself it was kind of surprising she hadn’t turned into a cat.
“But you haven’t eaten any on it,” Agnes said, as Claire marched triumphantly out of the room. “What a waste.”
“I’ll have it!” Father Christmas, the angel and the reindeer all said at once, together, searching through the spoons to see if there were any more of the really big ones.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tale #141 is delightful, and I like Tale #140, also!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
tale 140 was a panic written episode when i realised earlier this afternoon that i hadn't written one for today at all
Re: A Cast Of Characters
You are like Enid Blyton in that way! Except without the racism. 
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales from The Town #143: May Days
Unexpected sunshine after several months of rain. Bird song and insect buzz. Ice cream van jingle burrowing deep within your brain. If you look closely you can see the grass growing beneath your feet almost in real time.
New month, new life. The perfect time to reappear.
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... -may-days/
(apologies for prolonged absences)
Unexpected sunshine after several months of rain. Bird song and insect buzz. Ice cream van jingle burrowing deep within your brain. If you look closely you can see the grass growing beneath your feet almost in real time.
New month, new life. The perfect time to reappear.
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... -may-days/
(apologies for prolonged absences)
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Very nice!
Also: "If you look closely you can see the grass growing beneath your feet almost in real time."
Very true!
*thumbs up*
Also: "If you look closely you can see the grass growing beneath your feet almost in real time."
Very true!
*thumbs up*
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales from The Town #144: Absences, Abandonments
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... ndonments/
“How was your father?” Agnes asked the children when they’d got back from the beach.
“We don’t know,” said Tina.
“He wasn’t there,” said Ethel.
“He was gone!” said Daniel.
“What do you mean, gone?”
“We mean he was gone,” said Daniel.
“He wasn’t there,” said Ethel.
“Well where was he then?”
“We don’t know,” said Tina. “Maybe he swam off after the mermaid.”
“Maybe the crabs ate him,” said Ethel.
“Maybe he went to the moon!” said Daniel, italicising things excitedly. “To live with Nanny!”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s very likely,” Agnes said. “Maybe he just went for a walk.”
“But all his stuff’s gone too,” said Tina.
“Even that robot he was building out of that dead doll and one of the lodger’s old phones,” said Ethel. “It was like he hadn’t been there in months.”
“It was like he’d never been there AT ALL!” said Daniel, boldly. “Even the cave was gone!”
“The cave wasn’t gone at all, Daniel,” Ethel said.
“But imagine if it was!” he replied. “The cave and the crabs and the beach and the sea and the sky and the moon and the night and the day! That’d explain everything then.”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere,” Agnes said. “There’s no need to worry just yet.”
“We’re not worried, Mum,” said Tina.
“We’re not worried at all,” said Ethel.
“Maybe he’s gone to live in an abyss,” said Daniel, who liked the word abyss quite a lot. “Maybe he’s gone to live in an abyss on the moon!”
The three of them ran off to play on the swing, and Agnes was left alone with Claire. Claire hadn’t said a word since they’d come back from the beach. She was simply sitting there at the kitchen table, petting the cat with one hand and brushing her hair with the other with such concentrated intensity the whole house crackled with static and barely suppressed fury.
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... ndonments/
“How was your father?” Agnes asked the children when they’d got back from the beach.
“We don’t know,” said Tina.
“He wasn’t there,” said Ethel.
“He was gone!” said Daniel.
“What do you mean, gone?”
“We mean he was gone,” said Daniel.
“He wasn’t there,” said Ethel.
“Well where was he then?”
“We don’t know,” said Tina. “Maybe he swam off after the mermaid.”
“Maybe the crabs ate him,” said Ethel.
“Maybe he went to the moon!” said Daniel, italicising things excitedly. “To live with Nanny!”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s very likely,” Agnes said. “Maybe he just went for a walk.”
“But all his stuff’s gone too,” said Tina.
“Even that robot he was building out of that dead doll and one of the lodger’s old phones,” said Ethel. “It was like he hadn’t been there in months.”
“It was like he’d never been there AT ALL!” said Daniel, boldly. “Even the cave was gone!”
“The cave wasn’t gone at all, Daniel,” Ethel said.
“But imagine if it was!” he replied. “The cave and the crabs and the beach and the sea and the sky and the moon and the night and the day! That’d explain everything then.”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere,” Agnes said. “There’s no need to worry just yet.”
“We’re not worried, Mum,” said Tina.
“We’re not worried at all,” said Ethel.
“Maybe he’s gone to live in an abyss,” said Daniel, who liked the word abyss quite a lot. “Maybe he’s gone to live in an abyss on the moon!”
The three of them ran off to play on the swing, and Agnes was left alone with Claire. Claire hadn’t said a word since they’d come back from the beach. She was simply sitting there at the kitchen table, petting the cat with one hand and brushing her hair with the other with such concentrated intensity the whole house crackled with static and barely suppressed fury.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #145: All Alone In An Endless Forest
some days you could walk in here forever and never see the same thing twice
and on others
never see anything new
just the same trees
endlessly
forever
no matter how far you went
no matter how much you yearned
for something else
to appear
some days you could walk in here forever and never see the same thing twice
and on others
never see anything new
just the same trees
endlessly
forever
no matter how far you went
no matter how much you yearned
for something else
to appear
Re: A Cast Of Characters
and a bonus one for tomorrow when i'm not here
Tales From The Town #146: Snooker
“What are you watching?”
“Snooker.”
“What?”
“Snooker.”
“Snooker is not a word, Daniel.”
“It’s a game.”
“It’s not even a game, Daniel. They don’t show games on TV!”
“It’s a sport, Claire.”
“It’s definitely not a sport, Tina.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t! They’re not even wearing trainers. And they’re wearing trousers.”
“You’re not even wearing trainers or trousers!”
“Shut up, Ethel.”
“You shut up, Claire!”
“And anyway, if it IS a sport, why are they all so old?”
“Claire!”
“What now Daniel?”
“That’s so rude!”
“It is not rude. Just look at them. They look like ghosts in a haunted hotel!”
“There’s no such thing as ghosts, Claire.”
“I know that, Ethel! And I never said there was! So there!”
“You did!”
“I did not!”
“You did!”
“I did not!”
(repeat until end of frame)
Tales From The Town #146: Snooker
“What are you watching?”
“Snooker.”
“What?”
“Snooker.”
“Snooker is not a word, Daniel.”
“It’s a game.”
“It’s not even a game, Daniel. They don’t show games on TV!”
“It’s a sport, Claire.”
“It’s definitely not a sport, Tina.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t! They’re not even wearing trainers. And they’re wearing trousers.”
“You’re not even wearing trainers or trousers!”
“Shut up, Ethel.”
“You shut up, Claire!”
“And anyway, if it IS a sport, why are they all so old?”
“Claire!”
“What now Daniel?”
“That’s so rude!”
“It is not rude. Just look at them. They look like ghosts in a haunted hotel!”
“There’s no such thing as ghosts, Claire.”
“I know that, Ethel! And I never said there was! So there!”
“You did!”
“I did not!”
“You did!”
“I did not!”
(repeat until end of frame)
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Excellent stuff, Sir!
"Just look at them. They look like ghosts in a haunted hotel!"
This tickled me rather a lot!
"Just look at them. They look like ghosts in a haunted hotel!"
This tickled me rather a lot!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #147: The Castle
It was easy to forget there was a castle on the hill above the town, and down the hill beside the town, and at the bottom of the hill beneath the town, beneath the hedges, beneath the bushes, beneath the tall grass, beneath the short grass, beneath the wildflowers, beneath the weeds, beneath the dust and the dirt beneath our feet.
But it was there. It was there.
It was easy to forget there was a castle on the hill above the town, and down the hill beside the town, and at the bottom of the hill beneath the town, beneath the hedges, beneath the bushes, beneath the tall grass, beneath the short grass, beneath the wildflowers, beneath the weeds, beneath the dust and the dirt beneath our feet.
But it was there. It was there.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #148: Bank Holiday Monday
“I can’t believe we don’t have to go to stupid school today!” beamed Claire. “On a Monday! That’s never happened before! Ever!”
“It literally happened last month, Claire,” Tina said.
“No it didn’t,” Claire said.
“At Easter,” Ethel replied.
“We didn’t have Monday off then,” Claire said, bolstering her earlier argument with facts. “We had the whole week off.”
“Twice,” said Daniel, nodding enthusiastically (and also knowledgeably).
“Exactly,” said Claire. “So there!”
“I can’t believe we don’t have to go to stupid school today!” beamed Claire. “On a Monday! That’s never happened before! Ever!”
“It literally happened last month, Claire,” Tina said.
“No it didn’t,” Claire said.
“At Easter,” Ethel replied.
“We didn’t have Monday off then,” Claire said, bolstering her earlier argument with facts. “We had the whole week off.”
“Twice,” said Daniel, nodding enthusiastically (and also knowledgeably).
“Exactly,” said Claire. “So there!”
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Delightful!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
I likes how you've laid that out - huzzah!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
The Tales Of The Town 150th Episode Anniversary Tale
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... ing-tales/
Tales From The Town #150: Telling Tales
“Rapunzel grew up to be the most beautiful girl in the world. On her 12th birthday, her father the king gave her to the witch in the woods, who locked her up in a tall tower with no doors nor stairs, and only one small window rightat the top, high above the trees of the forest, which stretched out all around from horizon to horizon, for that was how far away from anywhere else in the world she was now, and all for her own safety, or so the king had said to her.”
“What? Why the hell would he do that?”
“Claire! Don’t swear!” Tina said.
“I was not swearing! And I still don’t understand why the king would do that to his own daughter!” Claire said.
“Because he did!” Ethel said.
“But why?”
“That’s the story! That’s why!”
“But it doesn’t make any sense!”
“Stories don’t have to make sense, Claire,” said Tina.
“They do!” said Claire. “Otherwise what’s the point? ‘Oooooh! And then the king looked her up in the tower and then the tower turned into rocket and the rocket flew into the sun!'”
“And then the sun exploded!” Daniel said.
“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said. “I was making a point. You’re not supposed to agree with me.”
“I think,” said Agnes, carefully. “That the king is trying to keep Rapunzel from running off with a boy.”
“What? Why? When? How?” Claire spluttered. “No girl would ever run off with a boy. Boys are awful.”
“Don’t listen to her, Daniel,” Tina said.
“I don’t,” said Daniel. “And won’t.”
“You will,” said Claire. “And they are! What about Ted? Or that new boy?”
“What new boy?” Agnes asked.
“You know, that one who joined our class that time,” Claire said. “Who was new.”
“When was this?”
“I don’t know,” Claire said. “About two years ago or something.”
“Oh him,” Tina said.
“He’s not new,” said Ethel.
“He was,” said Claire.
“And he’s quite nice,” said Daniel.
“No he’s not,” said Claire.
“He likes clouds,” said Daniel.
“Exactly,” said Claire.
“Liking clouds is cool,” said Daniel.
“No it’s not,” said Claire. “Liking clouds is stupid.”
“You’re stupid,” said Ethel. “You don’t even understand the passage of time.”
“Yeah, well you don’t even understand that boys are awful and I’m not running off with any of them,” said Claire. “Especially not Dad!”
“Look, no one’s running off with your dad, so can we get back to the story?” Agnes asked. “Please?”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” “Okay.”
“Urgh, okay Mum,” Claire said.
“Good, thank you,” Agnes said. “‘Now, the only way the king or the witch could get into the tower was by standing beneath her window and saying, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.” The princess would then let down her long lustrous hair, which was as bright as gold and stronger than steel, and whoever was below would climb up her hair into the tower.'”
“What? WHY? HOW!!!!!?” Claire’s face got redder and redder with every syllable. “That’s… so…. STUPID!!!!”
“You’re so stupid, Claire,” said Ethel.
“And I thought that was quite clever,” said Tina.
“Long hair is cool!” said Daniel, shaking his hair that was like a viking’s hair around and around quite dangerously, really (although no one was harmed or even came close to harm).
“It’s not clever even slightly,” said Claire. “If this idiot Rapunzel was so clever she would have climbed down her own hair and escaped instead of just sitting there and letting someone else climb up it just because they asked.”
“She can’t climb down her own hair, Claire,” said Tina. “It’s attached to her own head.”
“She could cut it off!”
“She can’t,” said Ethel. “It’s magic hair.”
“And stronger than steel!” said Daniel.
“Also her dad didn’t leave her any scissors,” said Tina. “And neither did the witch.”
“You don’t know that,” Claire said. “You’re just making that up.”
“So that’s why her hair’s so long,” Daniel said. “It makes so much sense!”
“No it doesn’t” Claire said. “She could have used her fingernails.”
“But they’re not magic,” said Ethel.
“And they’re weaker than steel,” said Daniel.
“Also maybe she bites them,” said Tina, looking slightly nervously at her own fingers.
“She could use her toenails then!” Claire said, triumphantly. “No one bites their toenails.”
This time, Tina didn’t say a word in Rapuznel’s defence, although she did look nervously down at her socks for a moment or two.
“Ha!” Claire shouted, pointing at her sister very vigorously indeed. “Tina bites her toenails! I knew it! I knew it!”
“Shut up, Claire,” said Ethel. “You’re so stupid you wouldn’t even know HOW to bite your toenails!”
“I would!” Claire said, quickly pulling her socks off to show off her own toe biting skills, which were surprisingly adept. “See? I could totally bite my own toenails if I wanted to!”
“Ewwww,” Daniel said. “I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all!”
“Yes, please don’t do that, Claire,” Agnes said.
“I didn’t!” said Claire, indignantly, her foot still suspiciously close to her own mouth. “But Tina did!”
“I didn’t do anything,” Tina said quietly.
“You did!”
“She didn’t Claire!”
“She did!”
“SHE DIDN’T!”
“YOU ALL DID!”
Agnes took off her glasses and closed the book with a sigh. “One day the tower flew off into space,” she said to herself while everyone else squabbled for what felt like the 150th time. “And that was the end of that.”
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... ing-tales/
Tales From The Town #150: Telling Tales
“Rapunzel grew up to be the most beautiful girl in the world. On her 12th birthday, her father the king gave her to the witch in the woods, who locked her up in a tall tower with no doors nor stairs, and only one small window rightat the top, high above the trees of the forest, which stretched out all around from horizon to horizon, for that was how far away from anywhere else in the world she was now, and all for her own safety, or so the king had said to her.”
“What? Why the hell would he do that?”
“Claire! Don’t swear!” Tina said.
“I was not swearing! And I still don’t understand why the king would do that to his own daughter!” Claire said.
“Because he did!” Ethel said.
“But why?”
“That’s the story! That’s why!”
“But it doesn’t make any sense!”
“Stories don’t have to make sense, Claire,” said Tina.
“They do!” said Claire. “Otherwise what’s the point? ‘Oooooh! And then the king looked her up in the tower and then the tower turned into rocket and the rocket flew into the sun!'”
“And then the sun exploded!” Daniel said.
“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said. “I was making a point. You’re not supposed to agree with me.”
“I think,” said Agnes, carefully. “That the king is trying to keep Rapunzel from running off with a boy.”
“What? Why? When? How?” Claire spluttered. “No girl would ever run off with a boy. Boys are awful.”
“Don’t listen to her, Daniel,” Tina said.
“I don’t,” said Daniel. “And won’t.”
“You will,” said Claire. “And they are! What about Ted? Or that new boy?”
“What new boy?” Agnes asked.
“You know, that one who joined our class that time,” Claire said. “Who was new.”
“When was this?”
“I don’t know,” Claire said. “About two years ago or something.”
“Oh him,” Tina said.
“He’s not new,” said Ethel.
“He was,” said Claire.
“And he’s quite nice,” said Daniel.
“No he’s not,” said Claire.
“He likes clouds,” said Daniel.
“Exactly,” said Claire.
“Liking clouds is cool,” said Daniel.
“No it’s not,” said Claire. “Liking clouds is stupid.”
“You’re stupid,” said Ethel. “You don’t even understand the passage of time.”
“Yeah, well you don’t even understand that boys are awful and I’m not running off with any of them,” said Claire. “Especially not Dad!”
“Look, no one’s running off with your dad, so can we get back to the story?” Agnes asked. “Please?”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” “Okay.”
“Urgh, okay Mum,” Claire said.
“Good, thank you,” Agnes said. “‘Now, the only way the king or the witch could get into the tower was by standing beneath her window and saying, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.” The princess would then let down her long lustrous hair, which was as bright as gold and stronger than steel, and whoever was below would climb up her hair into the tower.'”
“What? WHY? HOW!!!!!?” Claire’s face got redder and redder with every syllable. “That’s… so…. STUPID!!!!”
“You’re so stupid, Claire,” said Ethel.
“And I thought that was quite clever,” said Tina.
“Long hair is cool!” said Daniel, shaking his hair that was like a viking’s hair around and around quite dangerously, really (although no one was harmed or even came close to harm).
“It’s not clever even slightly,” said Claire. “If this idiot Rapunzel was so clever she would have climbed down her own hair and escaped instead of just sitting there and letting someone else climb up it just because they asked.”
“She can’t climb down her own hair, Claire,” said Tina. “It’s attached to her own head.”
“She could cut it off!”
“She can’t,” said Ethel. “It’s magic hair.”
“And stronger than steel!” said Daniel.
“Also her dad didn’t leave her any scissors,” said Tina. “And neither did the witch.”
“You don’t know that,” Claire said. “You’re just making that up.”
“So that’s why her hair’s so long,” Daniel said. “It makes so much sense!”
“No it doesn’t” Claire said. “She could have used her fingernails.”
“But they’re not magic,” said Ethel.
“And they’re weaker than steel,” said Daniel.
“Also maybe she bites them,” said Tina, looking slightly nervously at her own fingers.
“She could use her toenails then!” Claire said, triumphantly. “No one bites their toenails.”
This time, Tina didn’t say a word in Rapuznel’s defence, although she did look nervously down at her socks for a moment or two.
“Ha!” Claire shouted, pointing at her sister very vigorously indeed. “Tina bites her toenails! I knew it! I knew it!”
“Shut up, Claire,” said Ethel. “You’re so stupid you wouldn’t even know HOW to bite your toenails!”
“I would!” Claire said, quickly pulling her socks off to show off her own toe biting skills, which were surprisingly adept. “See? I could totally bite my own toenails if I wanted to!”
“Ewwww,” Daniel said. “I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all!”
“Yes, please don’t do that, Claire,” Agnes said.
“I didn’t!” said Claire, indignantly, her foot still suspiciously close to her own mouth. “But Tina did!”
“I didn’t do anything,” Tina said quietly.
“You did!”
“She didn’t Claire!”
“She did!”
“SHE DIDN’T!”
“YOU ALL DID!”
Agnes took off her glasses and closed the book with a sigh. “One day the tower flew off into space,” she said to herself while everyone else squabbled for what felt like the 150th time. “And that was the end of that.”
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #151: Scene From The Shadows Of An Abandoned Shop
The mannequins look strangely dignified as they stand there, despite being long since stripped of their clothes, their purpose, their audience of polite admirers dreaming forever unfilled dreams of replicating their style
The mannequins look strangely dignified as they stand there, despite being long since stripped of their clothes, their purpose, their audience of polite admirers dreaming forever unfilled dreams of replicating their style
Re: A Cast Of Characters
I can wholeheartedly recommend The Tales Of The Town 150th Episode Anniversary Tale, and you can take that to the bank!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
hooray, thnk you
Re: A Cast Of Characters
This is very similar to this
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... the-house/
Which is probably why I’d left it in my notebook for a year
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Plagiarising myself now
Re: A Cast Of Characters
I'd sue if I were you - you could take you to the cleaners, make a pretty penny from the damages to your reputation, and then retire to the country to hunt marmosets with a cannon.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #153: Paddling Pool
The best thing about the paddling pool, Tina knew, was pumping it up with the footpump, diligently stepping on the pedal over and over again and watching with pride as it slowly took shape.
The best thing about the paddling pool, Daniel knew, was slowly filling it up with the hose, watching the water form miniature rivers and lakes round the contours of the creases in its base. (If he could have emptied it out and started again every time the water got deep enough to submerge the hose he would have done.)
The best thing about the paddling pool, Ethel knew, was squealing and screaming as loudly and as long as you could while you splashed around in the water. You just weren’t allowed to shriek like that at any other time (except maybe on a rollercoaster, but who has one of those in their garden?).
The best thing about the paddling pool, Claire knew, was secretly turning the hose back on until it overflowed and flooded the garden in a manner as spectacular as a burst dam.
The best thing about the paddling pool, Tina knew, was pumping it up with the footpump, diligently stepping on the pedal over and over again and watching with pride as it slowly took shape.
The best thing about the paddling pool, Daniel knew, was slowly filling it up with the hose, watching the water form miniature rivers and lakes round the contours of the creases in its base. (If he could have emptied it out and started again every time the water got deep enough to submerge the hose he would have done.)
The best thing about the paddling pool, Ethel knew, was squealing and screaming as loudly and as long as you could while you splashed around in the water. You just weren’t allowed to shriek like that at any other time (except maybe on a rollercoaster, but who has one of those in their garden?).
The best thing about the paddling pool, Claire knew, was secretly turning the hose back on until it overflowed and flooded the garden in a manner as spectacular as a burst dam.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
I was planning on posting one of these every day this month, but then i missed yesterday due to ill/misery
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Claire speaks sense 'bout paddling pools! 
Nice work!
Nice work!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
To make up for things I adjusted the numbers and sneaked back in time to add this very long and extensive episode
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... n-153-ill/
Re: A Cast Of Characters
also here's today's one, which is a sequel to that one
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... st-in-bed/
Tales From The Town #155: Breakfast In Bed
“Argh!” said Agnes, as she was startled awake by Tina, Ethel and Daniel barging into her room as quietly as they could (which was not very quiet at all) at 7:48am on a Monday morning. “What’s going on?”
“We’ve made you breakfast, Mum!” said Tina, as she handed Agnes a cup of warmish chocolate.
“In bed,” said Daniel, as he held an egg cup holding a boiled egg above his head as proudly as if it was the world cup.
“Be careful with that egg, Daniel,” Agnes said. “The last thing I want is yolk all over the sheets.”
“It’s a hard boiled egg!” Daniel said. “Really hard! Look!”
He dropped it and then caught it neatly in the dainty china egg cup that was his favourite as it bounced up off the floorboards like a rubber ball.
“I see,” said Agnes. “Thank you, Daniel. But what are you all making me breakfast in bed for?”
“Because you’re ill,” said Ethel, who was holding a plate of burnt toast with a faint hint of embarrassment. No way could she do any tricks with this like Daniel could do with his egg.
“In bed!” said Daniel again, throwing the egg against the wall this time and catching it perfectly in the egg cup again before bowing for some imaginary applause.
“I was not ill,” Agnes said. She wasn’t allowed to ever admit to being ill, not even to herself. “I was just a bit tired.”
“For two whole days,” said Tina.
“And two whole nights!” said Ethel.
“IN BED!” Daniel said for a third time, not because it made any sense to say it, but just because it felt like he should say it, just in case.
“Well, thank you very much everyone,” Agnes said. “It’s very kind of you. But I really wasn’t ill, you know?” None of her children looked like they believed her even slightly. “So, erm, where’s Claire? Didn’t she help?”
“She’s in bed,” said Daniel. “Ill.”
“Oh no,” Agnes said. “Poor Claire. She hates being ill. It makes her irrationally angry.”
“She said if you could be ill so could she,” said Tina.
“Then she said she’s not going to school today,” said Ethel.
“NOT EVER AGAIN!” shouted Claire from the other side of the house. “SO THERE!”
“Did you make her breakfast in bed too?” Agnes asked as quietly as she could.
“Daniel offered her his egg,” Tina said.
“But she threw it out the window,” Ethel added.
“That’s how we found out it bounced,” said Daniel, as he juggled the egg for a bit, caught it in its cup one last time, and held it out towards his Mum with a flourish.
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... st-in-bed/
Tales From The Town #155: Breakfast In Bed
“Argh!” said Agnes, as she was startled awake by Tina, Ethel and Daniel barging into her room as quietly as they could (which was not very quiet at all) at 7:48am on a Monday morning. “What’s going on?”
“We’ve made you breakfast, Mum!” said Tina, as she handed Agnes a cup of warmish chocolate.
“In bed,” said Daniel, as he held an egg cup holding a boiled egg above his head as proudly as if it was the world cup.
“Be careful with that egg, Daniel,” Agnes said. “The last thing I want is yolk all over the sheets.”
“It’s a hard boiled egg!” Daniel said. “Really hard! Look!”
He dropped it and then caught it neatly in the dainty china egg cup that was his favourite as it bounced up off the floorboards like a rubber ball.
“I see,” said Agnes. “Thank you, Daniel. But what are you all making me breakfast in bed for?”
“Because you’re ill,” said Ethel, who was holding a plate of burnt toast with a faint hint of embarrassment. No way could she do any tricks with this like Daniel could do with his egg.
“In bed!” said Daniel again, throwing the egg against the wall this time and catching it perfectly in the egg cup again before bowing for some imaginary applause.
“I was not ill,” Agnes said. She wasn’t allowed to ever admit to being ill, not even to herself. “I was just a bit tired.”
“For two whole days,” said Tina.
“And two whole nights!” said Ethel.
“IN BED!” Daniel said for a third time, not because it made any sense to say it, but just because it felt like he should say it, just in case.
“Well, thank you very much everyone,” Agnes said. “It’s very kind of you. But I really wasn’t ill, you know?” None of her children looked like they believed her even slightly. “So, erm, where’s Claire? Didn’t she help?”
“She’s in bed,” said Daniel. “Ill.”
“Oh no,” Agnes said. “Poor Claire. She hates being ill. It makes her irrationally angry.”
“She said if you could be ill so could she,” said Tina.
“Then she said she’s not going to school today,” said Ethel.
“NOT EVER AGAIN!” shouted Claire from the other side of the house. “SO THERE!”
“Did you make her breakfast in bed too?” Agnes asked as quietly as she could.
“Daniel offered her his egg,” Tina said.
“But she threw it out the window,” Ethel added.
“That’s how we found out it bounced,” said Daniel, as he juggled the egg for a bit, caught it in its cup one last time, and held it out towards his Mum with a flourish.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
and a follow up
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... m-studies/
Tales From The Town #156: Film Studies
Int: The Kitchen (evening)
“Urgh,” said Claire. “I thought being off school on my own would be fun, but it wasn’t fun at all. It was awful!” She stamped her feet so hard to emphasise her point the water in the cat’s bowl rippled ominously. “Mum made Anna look after me because she was too tired and so I had to sit up there in Anna’s stupid room watching all these stupid films she watches at her stupid college for stupid students like stupid her! I’d have had more fun at school!”
“Anna’s not a student at college,” Ethel said. “She’s a postgrad at university.”
“I don’t know what any of that even means, Ethel,” said Claire. “You don’t even know what any of that even means. No one knows what any of that even means!”
“I know what it means,” said Tina.
“Yeah, well you would,” Claire said furiously, contemptuously, and also slightly contradictorally.
“I can’t believe you tricked Mum into letting you have the day off school, spent it watching films with Anna, and you’re still somehow angry about everything,” Tina said.
“I can,” Ethel said.
“You can’t,” said Claire, more out of habit than anything else. “And you’d be furious too if you’d had to watch that weird awful stupid nonsense with Anna. I mean, those films were so weird. So weird.”
“How weird?” asked Ethel. “Weird how?” asked Tina.
“There’s nothing wrong with being weird,” said Daniel, bouncing his hard boiled egg against the floor, up onto the wall, and back into his hand.
“There is,” Claire said. “This film was so weird it was made LAST CENTURY!”
“That’s not weird, Claire,” Tina said. “It’s just old.”
“It’s pretty weird if you think about it,” said Claire. “We weren’t even alive then! And Mum would only have been our age!”
“That’s still not weird,” Tina said.
“Nanny would have been Mum’s age,” Claire said.
“Claire, we know how time works,” Tina said. “Even Daniel does.”
“Yeah, so?” Claire said. “And it was in GERMAN!”
“That’s not weird, either, Claire,” Ethel said.
“It is!”
“It’s just… not,” Ethel said, shaking her head.
“And then it was just the same film over and over again!” Claire shouted. “Time kept repeating and this weird old german woman in this weird old german film just kept having to save herself over and over again! Why would you even watch that? What’s the point? Why didn’t she just do it once instead of over and over again?”
“Because – ”
“AND we didn’t even have any popcorn,” said Claire, finally getting to the heart of the problem. “Or ice cream. Or a chocolate bar. Or biscuits. I had to have carrots for lunch. And an apple!”
“I had yoghurt for lunch,” said Daniel. “And two oranges!”
“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said. “And I bet they were satsumas. No way could you eat two oranges.”
“I could,” said Daniel.
“He did,” Tina confirmed. “One of them was yours.”
“So?!” Claire said. “What’s that got to do with films?”
“Maybe it’s symbolic,” Tina suggested.
“Maybe you’re symbolic,” Claire snorted.
“If anyone’s symbolic it’s you,” Ethel snapped.
“You don’t even know what symbolic means!” Claire shouted. “No one does. Especially not Daniel!”
She grabbed his stupid hard boiled egg and threw it into the bin so hard it bounced straight back out of the bin and into Daniel’s hand like magic. So then Claire kicked the bin over instead because that’s what she should have done in the first place.
“What’s any of this got to do with Daniel?” Tina asked.
“EVERYTHING!” Claire absolutely screamed as loudly and as wildly as she could directly into the camera. “EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!”
END SCENE
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... m-studies/
Tales From The Town #156: Film Studies
Int: The Kitchen (evening)
“Urgh,” said Claire. “I thought being off school on my own would be fun, but it wasn’t fun at all. It was awful!” She stamped her feet so hard to emphasise her point the water in the cat’s bowl rippled ominously. “Mum made Anna look after me because she was too tired and so I had to sit up there in Anna’s stupid room watching all these stupid films she watches at her stupid college for stupid students like stupid her! I’d have had more fun at school!”
“Anna’s not a student at college,” Ethel said. “She’s a postgrad at university.”
“I don’t know what any of that even means, Ethel,” said Claire. “You don’t even know what any of that even means. No one knows what any of that even means!”
“I know what it means,” said Tina.
“Yeah, well you would,” Claire said furiously, contemptuously, and also slightly contradictorally.
“I can’t believe you tricked Mum into letting you have the day off school, spent it watching films with Anna, and you’re still somehow angry about everything,” Tina said.
“I can,” Ethel said.
“You can’t,” said Claire, more out of habit than anything else. “And you’d be furious too if you’d had to watch that weird awful stupid nonsense with Anna. I mean, those films were so weird. So weird.”
“How weird?” asked Ethel. “Weird how?” asked Tina.
“There’s nothing wrong with being weird,” said Daniel, bouncing his hard boiled egg against the floor, up onto the wall, and back into his hand.
“There is,” Claire said. “This film was so weird it was made LAST CENTURY!”
“That’s not weird, Claire,” Tina said. “It’s just old.”
“It’s pretty weird if you think about it,” said Claire. “We weren’t even alive then! And Mum would only have been our age!”
“That’s still not weird,” Tina said.
“Nanny would have been Mum’s age,” Claire said.
“Claire, we know how time works,” Tina said. “Even Daniel does.”
“Yeah, so?” Claire said. “And it was in GERMAN!”
“That’s not weird, either, Claire,” Ethel said.
“It is!”
“It’s just… not,” Ethel said, shaking her head.
“And then it was just the same film over and over again!” Claire shouted. “Time kept repeating and this weird old german woman in this weird old german film just kept having to save herself over and over again! Why would you even watch that? What’s the point? Why didn’t she just do it once instead of over and over again?”
“Because – ”
“AND we didn’t even have any popcorn,” said Claire, finally getting to the heart of the problem. “Or ice cream. Or a chocolate bar. Or biscuits. I had to have carrots for lunch. And an apple!”
“I had yoghurt for lunch,” said Daniel. “And two oranges!”
“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said. “And I bet they were satsumas. No way could you eat two oranges.”
“I could,” said Daniel.
“He did,” Tina confirmed. “One of them was yours.”
“So?!” Claire said. “What’s that got to do with films?”
“Maybe it’s symbolic,” Tina suggested.
“Maybe you’re symbolic,” Claire snorted.
“If anyone’s symbolic it’s you,” Ethel snapped.
“You don’t even know what symbolic means!” Claire shouted. “No one does. Especially not Daniel!”
She grabbed his stupid hard boiled egg and threw it into the bin so hard it bounced straight back out of the bin and into Daniel’s hand like magic. So then Claire kicked the bin over instead because that’s what she should have done in the first place.
“What’s any of this got to do with Daniel?” Tina asked.
“EVERYTHING!” Claire absolutely screamed as loudly and as wildly as she could directly into the camera. “EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!”
END SCENE
Re: A Cast Of Characters
A thumbs up each for those two. Loikes!Loikes!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
That should probably say “cut” instead of end scene at the end there
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #157: A Postcard From The Depths Of Space
The Picture On The Postcard
A sea of stars, and in the middle a tiny little spaceship all alone out there in the vast infinities of space
The Writing On The Postcard
Out here in space sleep forms 99% of your life.
The sleep of boredom and tiredness
of stasis
and time dilation
Endless sleep
without even the solace of dreams
The Reaction To The Postcard
“That postcard came from space!” said Daniel. “That is so cool.”
“I don’t think it actually came from space, Daniel,” Tina said.
“But imagine if it did!”
“I think it just came from wherever all these other postcards keep coming from,” Tina said, as she held up the other ones they’d received on and off for a few weeks now, about things like mysterious towers, abandoned shops, cats, castles, forests, days.
“Maybe they also came from space,” Daniel said hopefully.
“Nothing came from space, Daniel,” Ethel said. “Not unless Nanny sent us some liquorice from the moon again.”
“Well they must be coming from somewhere,” Daniel said, thinking as hard as he could. “And… from someone!”
“Very cleverly deduced, Daniel,” said Tina.
“But I wonder who they’re from…” Daniel pondered, ponderously.
(“They’re from Dad, aren’t they?” Ethel said, quietly. “Definitely Dad,” Tina said even more quietly somehow.)
“I suppose we’ll never know,” Daniel finally concluded. “It’s a mystery.” He looked at the latest postcard again one last time (definitely his favourite postcard). “A space mystery!”
“Dad’s dead,” Claire said, stomping into the room from wherever it was in the house she’d been stomping about before. “And his postcards are all stupid.” She snatched them up out of everyone’s hands. “And I am ILL!” She threw them all on the floor and stamped on them. “And this is the worst week ever!”
The Picture On The Postcard
A sea of stars, and in the middle a tiny little spaceship all alone out there in the vast infinities of space
The Writing On The Postcard
Out here in space sleep forms 99% of your life.
The sleep of boredom and tiredness
of stasis
and time dilation
Endless sleep
without even the solace of dreams
The Reaction To The Postcard
“That postcard came from space!” said Daniel. “That is so cool.”
“I don’t think it actually came from space, Daniel,” Tina said.
“But imagine if it did!”
“I think it just came from wherever all these other postcards keep coming from,” Tina said, as she held up the other ones they’d received on and off for a few weeks now, about things like mysterious towers, abandoned shops, cats, castles, forests, days.
“Maybe they also came from space,” Daniel said hopefully.
“Nothing came from space, Daniel,” Ethel said. “Not unless Nanny sent us some liquorice from the moon again.”
“Well they must be coming from somewhere,” Daniel said, thinking as hard as he could. “And… from someone!”
“Very cleverly deduced, Daniel,” said Tina.
“But I wonder who they’re from…” Daniel pondered, ponderously.
(“They’re from Dad, aren’t they?” Ethel said, quietly. “Definitely Dad,” Tina said even more quietly somehow.)
“I suppose we’ll never know,” Daniel finally concluded. “It’s a mystery.” He looked at the latest postcard again one last time (definitely his favourite postcard). “A space mystery!”
“Dad’s dead,” Claire said, stomping into the room from wherever it was in the house she’d been stomping about before. “And his postcards are all stupid.” She snatched them up out of everyone’s hands. “And I am ILL!” She threw them all on the floor and stamped on them. “And this is the worst week ever!”
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Good AND intriguing!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #158: The Witch’s Birthday
She didn’t see anyone all day, and that was how she liked it.
She didn’t see anyone all day, and that was how she liked it.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #159: A Stupid List Of Stupid Things
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... id-things/
A List Of Things That Are Stupid
Anna
Anna’s room
Anna’s film
Anna’s college
Anna’s fellow students
Being nice (concept of)
Dad’s old junk he left in the loft
Ethel
Everyone
Frogs
Girls who like mermaids
Gretel
Hansel
Hard boiled eggs (in general)
Hard boiled eggs (specifically Daniel’s hard boiled egg)
Lists
Lukas’s old fashioned hair
Mermaids
Nice Dogs (concept of)
Pacifism (in general)
Pacifism (in the specific idea that it would forbid you from kicking footballs)
Poems (in general)
Poems (specifically Tina’s poems)
Poems (unpublished and/or secret)
Poetry (idea of)
Postcards (general)
Postcards (specifically Dad’s postcards)
The idea that maybe Claire is pretending to think poetry is stupid purely because she actually thinks poetry isn’t stupid but she doesn’t want anyone to know that.
The idea that all four children are the same age just because they’re quadruplets (Claire’s the oldest!)
The idea that context and intention change the meaning of words
Rapunzel (character)
Rapunzel (hair)
Rapunzel (plot of)
Rocks
School
Shoelaces
Snow
Things
Tina
Tina’s Car Game That She Made Them Play One Time
Velcro
A List Of Things That Are Not Stupid
Claire
(References: Tale #1; Tale #20; Tale #28; Tale #30; Tale #49; Tale #66; Tale #68; Tale #70; Tale #72; Tale #84; Tale #102; Tale #106; Tale #115; Tale #117; Tale #132; Tale #134; Tale #135; Tale #148; Tale #150; Tale #156; Tale #157; Tale #159)
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... id-things/
A List Of Things That Are Stupid
Anna
Anna’s room
Anna’s film
Anna’s college
Anna’s fellow students
Being nice (concept of)
Dad’s old junk he left in the loft
Ethel
Everyone
Frogs
Girls who like mermaids
Gretel
Hansel
Hard boiled eggs (in general)
Hard boiled eggs (specifically Daniel’s hard boiled egg)
Lists
Lukas’s old fashioned hair
Mermaids
Nice Dogs (concept of)
Pacifism (in general)
Pacifism (in the specific idea that it would forbid you from kicking footballs)
Poems (in general)
Poems (specifically Tina’s poems)
Poems (unpublished and/or secret)
Poetry (idea of)
Postcards (general)
Postcards (specifically Dad’s postcards)
The idea that maybe Claire is pretending to think poetry is stupid purely because she actually thinks poetry isn’t stupid but she doesn’t want anyone to know that.
The idea that all four children are the same age just because they’re quadruplets (Claire’s the oldest!)
The idea that context and intention change the meaning of words
Rapunzel (character)
Rapunzel (hair)
Rapunzel (plot of)
Rocks
School
Shoelaces
Snow
Things
Tina
Tina’s Car Game That She Made Them Play One Time
Velcro
A List Of Things That Are Not Stupid
Claire
(References: Tale #1; Tale #20; Tale #28; Tale #30; Tale #49; Tale #66; Tale #68; Tale #70; Tale #72; Tale #84; Tale #102; Tale #106; Tale #115; Tale #117; Tale #132; Tale #134; Tale #135; Tale #148; Tale #150; Tale #156; Tale #157; Tale #159)
Re: A Cast Of Characters
that reference list is linked ti the relevant stories on an accumulation of things but i couldn't be bothered to replicate it here
Re: A Cast Of Characters
I fully approve of that list! *thumbs up*
Re: A Cast Of Characters
also here's tomorrow's one because some of my nieces are here this weekend so i might forgot to post it tomorrow
Tales From The Town #160: Daniel Dreams
Daniel is dreaming.
Daniel dreams as he sleeps. Daniel dreams as he wakes. Daniel dreams as he eats. Daniel dreams as he walks. Daniel dreams as he looks. Daniel dreams as he listens. Daniel dreams as he learns. Daniel dreams as he plays. Daniel dreams as he watches TV. Daniel dreams as he dreams.
Daniel dreams Daniel dreams.
Daniel dreams that he sleeps. Daniel dreams that he wakes. Daniel dreams that he eats. Daniel dreams that he walks. Daniel dreams that he looks. Daniel dreams that he listens. Daniel dreams that he learns. Daniel dreams that he plays. Daniel dreams that he watches TV. Daniel dreams that he dreams
Daniel is.
Tales From The Town #160: Daniel Dreams
Daniel is dreaming.
Daniel dreams as he sleeps. Daniel dreams as he wakes. Daniel dreams as he eats. Daniel dreams as he walks. Daniel dreams as he looks. Daniel dreams as he listens. Daniel dreams as he learns. Daniel dreams as he plays. Daniel dreams as he watches TV. Daniel dreams as he dreams.
Daniel dreams Daniel dreams.
Daniel dreams that he sleeps. Daniel dreams that he wakes. Daniel dreams that he eats. Daniel dreams that he walks. Daniel dreams that he looks. Daniel dreams that he listens. Daniel dreams that he learns. Daniel dreams that he plays. Daniel dreams that he watches TV. Daniel dreams that he dreams
Daniel is.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
I identify with Daniel!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #161: Stinkhole
“And where do you think you’re all going?” Claire said as she caught the others trying to sneak out of the back door. “You better not be going somewhere without me!”
“Out,” said Ethel. “And you can’t come, Claire. You’re ill off school.”
“Not any more I’m not. It’s the weekend,” Claire said, already putting on her boots. “So where are we going, then?”
“We don’t know,” said Tina.
“We’re just following Daniel,” said Ethel.
“We’re going to see the stinkhole,” said Daniel. “It’s brand new!”
“The what?!”
“The stinkhole!”
“You just made that up, Daniel,” said Claire. “There’s no such thing as stinkholes.”
“We think,” said Tina. “That Daniel means a sinkhole.”
“No, I mean a stinkhole,” Daniel said.” A stinkhole is a sinkhole that stinks. And this stinkhole stinks so much that if you smell it at all you die INSTANTLY!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound likely,” Claire said, as she finished tying her shoelaces. “I mean, if everyone died as soon as they smelt it, who’d be around to know that smelling it killed you? Cause everyone that had smelt it would be dead!”
“Ted said,” Daniel said.
“And…?”
“And Ted doesn’t have a sense of smell,” Daniel explained. “So he survived.”
“Oh right, that actually makes quite a lot of sense,” said Claire, putting on her sunhat and following the others out of the door. “I still don’t know why you’re so excited by a hole, though, Daniel. Holes are rubbish. Like the well. Or Dad’s boring cave full of stupid crabs.”
“I dunno,” Daniel shrugged, before finally giving in to all his excitement and sprinting off towards the fields behind the garden that went up towards the cliffs which was where the stinkhole supposedly was. “I just want to see what it smells like!”
“Last one there’s a rotten Claire!” said Ethel, as her and Tina ran after Daniel.
“You can’t see smells, Daniel!” Claire shouted after them, indignantly. “Hey, wait, how are WE going to survive?”
But whatever her misgivings, Claire still trudged off up the path behind the others as they made their way towards the stinkhole and all that it promised to be.
“And where do you think you’re all going?” Claire said as she caught the others trying to sneak out of the back door. “You better not be going somewhere without me!”
“Out,” said Ethel. “And you can’t come, Claire. You’re ill off school.”
“Not any more I’m not. It’s the weekend,” Claire said, already putting on her boots. “So where are we going, then?”
“We don’t know,” said Tina.
“We’re just following Daniel,” said Ethel.
“We’re going to see the stinkhole,” said Daniel. “It’s brand new!”
“The what?!”
“The stinkhole!”
“You just made that up, Daniel,” said Claire. “There’s no such thing as stinkholes.”
“We think,” said Tina. “That Daniel means a sinkhole.”
“No, I mean a stinkhole,” Daniel said.” A stinkhole is a sinkhole that stinks. And this stinkhole stinks so much that if you smell it at all you die INSTANTLY!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound likely,” Claire said, as she finished tying her shoelaces. “I mean, if everyone died as soon as they smelt it, who’d be around to know that smelling it killed you? Cause everyone that had smelt it would be dead!”
“Ted said,” Daniel said.
“And…?”
“And Ted doesn’t have a sense of smell,” Daniel explained. “So he survived.”
“Oh right, that actually makes quite a lot of sense,” said Claire, putting on her sunhat and following the others out of the door. “I still don’t know why you’re so excited by a hole, though, Daniel. Holes are rubbish. Like the well. Or Dad’s boring cave full of stupid crabs.”
“I dunno,” Daniel shrugged, before finally giving in to all his excitement and sprinting off towards the fields behind the garden that went up towards the cliffs which was where the stinkhole supposedly was. “I just want to see what it smells like!”
“Last one there’s a rotten Claire!” said Ethel, as her and Tina ran after Daniel.
“You can’t see smells, Daniel!” Claire shouted after them, indignantly. “Hey, wait, how are WE going to survive?”
But whatever her misgivings, Claire still trudged off up the path behind the others as they made their way towards the stinkhole and all that it promised to be.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... of-spring/
Tales From The Town #162: The Sounds Of Spring
(listed in order of loudness/pleasantness)
Birds
Bees
Insects
Whispering
Giggling
Swing creaking
Trampolene squeaking
Distant laughter
Not so distant laughter
School sportsday cheering
Car stereos (in passing)
Neighbour’s radio (in perpetuity)
Hoovers
Lawnmowers
Strimmers
Hammers and/or drills
Motorbikes
Ice Cream Van
Claire
Tales From The Town #162: The Sounds Of Spring
(listed in order of loudness/pleasantness)
Birds
Bees
Insects
Whispering
Giggling
Swing creaking
Trampolene squeaking
Distant laughter
Not so distant laughter
School sportsday cheering
Car stereos (in passing)
Neighbour’s radio (in perpetuity)
Hoovers
Lawnmowers
Strimmers
Hammers and/or drills
Motorbikes
Ice Cream Van
Claire
Re: A Cast Of Characters
"Stinkhole" has tickled me. Also - hurrah for tale #161!
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #163: An Amazing Aggregation Of Articulate Assessment
“Accessary,” Tina said.
“Ooh, let me think,” Daniel said, tapping his chin with his finger as he thought very carefully about his answer. “9.”
Ethel scribbled something down on the book her and Tina were reading and nodded in agreement.
“Accumulation,” Tina said.
“Hmmm,” said Daniel. “8.”
“WRONG!” Claire shouted from across the room. “The actual answer is 13!”
“What actual answer?” Ethel said. “You don’t even know what we’re doing!”
“I do!” Claire said, throwing her hairbrush on the floor and then running over so she could loom authoritatively over the others. “You’re playing “how many letters does this word have“. And the answer is that accumulation has 13. A. C. C. U. M. M. U. L. A. T. I. O. N.”
She counted the letters off with her fingers and then finally also Daniel’s fingers.
“We’re not playing that,” said Daniel, taking his fingers back under his own control again.
“We’ve never even heard of that,” said Ethel.
“And if we were playing that, the answer would be 12,” said Tina. “Accumulation only has one M.”
She showed Claire the relevant article in the dictionary as proof.
“Not when I spell it it doesn’t,” said Claire. “And anyway, that’s still closer than Daniel’s answer. So I still won.”
“But we aren’t playing that,” Tina said again. “So no one won.”
“We aren’t playing anything,” Daniel said. “We’re reviewing. And I gave “accumulation” 8 marks out of 10!”
“You’re reviewing… words?” Claire said.
“Yep!” Daniel said. “Straight from the dictionary!”
“But… ” Claire said. “But… WHY?!”
“Daniel’s looking for a new favourite word,” said Tina.
“He’s totally over abyss,” said Ethel.
“I never want to see an abyss ever again!” said Daniel. “Or smell one.”
“Well how about boring, then?” Claire said. “Or stupid? Cause that’s what this game is!”
“We’re still on A,” Tina explained.
“So those words are (2) absolutely (7) anti (6) appropriate (5)!” Daniel said, holding up the requisite number of fingers as he said each A word.
“Anti is not a word,” Claire said. “It’s a bit of a word.”
“You’re a bit of a word,” said Ethel.
“Yeah, well you’re not even a word at all,” said Claire. “You’re just air!”
“That’s only a 2,” said Daniel.
“If we were playing by my rules it’d be a 3,” said Claire.
“But we’re not playing by your rules,” Tina said.
“Because your rules are annoying,” Ethel said, holding up 6 fingers.
“At least then the answers would mean something,” Claire said. “Instead of being Daniel’s opinion.”
“What’s wrong with Daniel’s opinions?” Tina asked.
“Everything,” Claire said. “And we all know it.”
“Only because we’ve made a list,” Ethel said, pointing to the annotations they’d made in the dictionary. “Otherwise we wouldn’t know what Daniel thinks about… acciaccatura!”
“10!” Daniel said, with alarming alacrity.
“You don’t even know what that word means,” Claire said. “What’s the point of rating a word on how it sounds?”
“It’s really fun to say!” said Daniel. “Acciaccatura! See?”
“You don’t know what it means AND you don’t know how to say it,” Claire said, even though she didn’t know how to say it either. But it definitely wasn’t how Daniel said it, she knew that much.
“Also, ‘an acciaccatura is a very short appoggiatura’,” Ethel read out loud. “So now we all know what it means.”
“11!” Daniel announced with astonished adoration. “I wish I was an appoggiatura!”
“You probably are,” Claire said (apoplectically). “You probably all are!”
“Claire, you can’t just end every conversation we have by shouting at us,” Tina said.
“I can,” Claire said. “And I will.” She stood up on tiptoes so she could see over the top of the dictionary and then tried to read it upside down. “Accordionly! So THERE!”
“Accessary,” Tina said.
“Ooh, let me think,” Daniel said, tapping his chin with his finger as he thought very carefully about his answer. “9.”
Ethel scribbled something down on the book her and Tina were reading and nodded in agreement.
“Accumulation,” Tina said.
“Hmmm,” said Daniel. “8.”
“WRONG!” Claire shouted from across the room. “The actual answer is 13!”
“What actual answer?” Ethel said. “You don’t even know what we’re doing!”
“I do!” Claire said, throwing her hairbrush on the floor and then running over so she could loom authoritatively over the others. “You’re playing “how many letters does this word have“. And the answer is that accumulation has 13. A. C. C. U. M. M. U. L. A. T. I. O. N.”
She counted the letters off with her fingers and then finally also Daniel’s fingers.
“We’re not playing that,” said Daniel, taking his fingers back under his own control again.
“We’ve never even heard of that,” said Ethel.
“And if we were playing that, the answer would be 12,” said Tina. “Accumulation only has one M.”
She showed Claire the relevant article in the dictionary as proof.
“Not when I spell it it doesn’t,” said Claire. “And anyway, that’s still closer than Daniel’s answer. So I still won.”
“But we aren’t playing that,” Tina said again. “So no one won.”
“We aren’t playing anything,” Daniel said. “We’re reviewing. And I gave “accumulation” 8 marks out of 10!”
“You’re reviewing… words?” Claire said.
“Yep!” Daniel said. “Straight from the dictionary!”
“But… ” Claire said. “But… WHY?!”
“Daniel’s looking for a new favourite word,” said Tina.
“He’s totally over abyss,” said Ethel.
“I never want to see an abyss ever again!” said Daniel. “Or smell one.”
“Well how about boring, then?” Claire said. “Or stupid? Cause that’s what this game is!”
“We’re still on A,” Tina explained.
“So those words are (2) absolutely (7) anti (6) appropriate (5)!” Daniel said, holding up the requisite number of fingers as he said each A word.
“Anti is not a word,” Claire said. “It’s a bit of a word.”
“You’re a bit of a word,” said Ethel.
“Yeah, well you’re not even a word at all,” said Claire. “You’re just air!”
“That’s only a 2,” said Daniel.
“If we were playing by my rules it’d be a 3,” said Claire.
“But we’re not playing by your rules,” Tina said.
“Because your rules are annoying,” Ethel said, holding up 6 fingers.
“At least then the answers would mean something,” Claire said. “Instead of being Daniel’s opinion.”
“What’s wrong with Daniel’s opinions?” Tina asked.
“Everything,” Claire said. “And we all know it.”
“Only because we’ve made a list,” Ethel said, pointing to the annotations they’d made in the dictionary. “Otherwise we wouldn’t know what Daniel thinks about… acciaccatura!”
“10!” Daniel said, with alarming alacrity.
“You don’t even know what that word means,” Claire said. “What’s the point of rating a word on how it sounds?”
“It’s really fun to say!” said Daniel. “Acciaccatura! See?”
“You don’t know what it means AND you don’t know how to say it,” Claire said, even though she didn’t know how to say it either. But it definitely wasn’t how Daniel said it, she knew that much.
“Also, ‘an acciaccatura is a very short appoggiatura’,” Ethel read out loud. “So now we all know what it means.”
“11!” Daniel announced with astonished adoration. “I wish I was an appoggiatura!”
“You probably are,” Claire said (apoplectically). “You probably all are!”
“Claire, you can’t just end every conversation we have by shouting at us,” Tina said.
“I can,” Claire said. “And I will.” She stood up on tiptoes so she could see over the top of the dictionary and then tried to read it upside down. “Accordionly! So THERE!”
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #164: Tales From Other Towns
What did they believe in down there, in those other towns that were so different from our own? What did they do over there?
Everything, nothing.
They took pride in things others took for granted, took for granted what others took pride in. Kindness came as easily as cruelty. Love as often as indifference. They fished and farmed.They bought and sold. Gifted and gave, stole and hid. Some sang songs so beautiful they could make a stranger cry, some told stories so crass and vulgar you were ashamed to ever hear them, couldn’t bring yourself to look the teller in the eye.
They lived, they died.
That’s what they believe in down there, in those other towns that are so different from our own. That’s what they do over there.
What did they believe in down there, in those other towns that were so different from our own? What did they do over there?
Everything, nothing.
They took pride in things others took for granted, took for granted what others took pride in. Kindness came as easily as cruelty. Love as often as indifference. They fished and farmed.They bought and sold. Gifted and gave, stole and hid. Some sang songs so beautiful they could make a stranger cry, some told stories so crass and vulgar you were ashamed to ever hear them, couldn’t bring yourself to look the teller in the eye.
They lived, they died.
That’s what they believe in down there, in those other towns that are so different from our own. That’s what they do over there.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #165: A Postcard From Deep Beneath The Sea
The Picture On The Postcard
Jellyfish illuminate the murky depths. There is nothing else to see.
The Writing On The Postcard
Beneath the sea there’s another sea and beneath that another, each one as distinct from the other as the land is from the sky. And beneath even that there’s the true surface of the earth, as alien to us and as unknowable as whatever it is that waits below the clouds of Jupiter, whatever it is that still sleeps and dreams in the heart of the sun.
The Reaction To The Postcard
Tina: “Dad’s kind of strange really, isn’t he?”
Ethel: “Very strange.”
Daniel: “Maybe he’s a merman now!”
Tina: “He’s not a merman, Daniel.”
Ethel: “He can’t even swim underwater.”
Daniel: “So how is he even breathing down there at the bottom of the sea with all those jellyfish he’s friends with now?”
Claire: “He’s not breathing down there because he’s dead!”
Tina: “Claire can you please stop saying Dad’s dead. It’s very upsetting.”
Ethel: “And we all know he isn’t dead at all anyway.”
Claire: “Well he might as well be! And we definitely don’t know that at all, Ethel. For all we know he’s been dead for weeks.”
Ethel: “Then how come he’s sending us all these postcards?”
Claire: “He obviously sent them ages ago. And then he died before they arrived.”
Daniel: “Because he sent from SPACE! And UNDER THE SEA!”
Claire: “Exactly!”
Tina: “And also a nearby town.”
Claire: “Which town?”
Ethel: “One that’s almost but not exactly like this town.”
Claire: “That could be anywhere!”
Tina: “What about the one he sent us from the castle?”
Ethel: “And that one he sent from the woods? The woods aren’t far away at all!”
Claire: “What castle? Which woods?”
Tina (pointing out the window): “That castle! And those woods!”
Claire: “Yeah well maybe he forgot to post those ones until he was already in space. And then he died AS he posted them. And that’s why he forgot to sign his name to the bottom of them OR put a date on them to say when he posted them. It would also explain why that one’s all covered in blood.”
Tina: “Actually I think that’s just jam.”
Claire: “Why would dad cover his postcards in jam?”
Daniel: “Maybe Dad lives in the toaster now! And also the postcards pop out of the toaster when he’s written them! And then they land in some jam for some reason.”
Ethel: “The reason is because Claire spilt all the jam because she drinks it straight out of the jar like it’s a milkshake.”
Claire: “I do not!”
Daniel: “I do!”
Claire: “Daniel! You’re not supposed to admit it!”
The Picture On The Postcard
Jellyfish illuminate the murky depths. There is nothing else to see.
The Writing On The Postcard
Beneath the sea there’s another sea and beneath that another, each one as distinct from the other as the land is from the sky. And beneath even that there’s the true surface of the earth, as alien to us and as unknowable as whatever it is that waits below the clouds of Jupiter, whatever it is that still sleeps and dreams in the heart of the sun.
The Reaction To The Postcard
Tina: “Dad’s kind of strange really, isn’t he?”
Ethel: “Very strange.”
Daniel: “Maybe he’s a merman now!”
Tina: “He’s not a merman, Daniel.”
Ethel: “He can’t even swim underwater.”
Daniel: “So how is he even breathing down there at the bottom of the sea with all those jellyfish he’s friends with now?”
Claire: “He’s not breathing down there because he’s dead!”
Tina: “Claire can you please stop saying Dad’s dead. It’s very upsetting.”
Ethel: “And we all know he isn’t dead at all anyway.”
Claire: “Well he might as well be! And we definitely don’t know that at all, Ethel. For all we know he’s been dead for weeks.”
Ethel: “Then how come he’s sending us all these postcards?”
Claire: “He obviously sent them ages ago. And then he died before they arrived.”
Daniel: “Because he sent from SPACE! And UNDER THE SEA!”
Claire: “Exactly!”
Tina: “And also a nearby town.”
Claire: “Which town?”
Ethel: “One that’s almost but not exactly like this town.”
Claire: “That could be anywhere!”
Tina: “What about the one he sent us from the castle?”
Ethel: “And that one he sent from the woods? The woods aren’t far away at all!”
Claire: “What castle? Which woods?”
Tina (pointing out the window): “That castle! And those woods!”
Claire: “Yeah well maybe he forgot to post those ones until he was already in space. And then he died AS he posted them. And that’s why he forgot to sign his name to the bottom of them OR put a date on them to say when he posted them. It would also explain why that one’s all covered in blood.”
Tina: “Actually I think that’s just jam.”
Claire: “Why would dad cover his postcards in jam?”
Daniel: “Maybe Dad lives in the toaster now! And also the postcards pop out of the toaster when he’s written them! And then they land in some jam for some reason.”
Ethel: “The reason is because Claire spilt all the jam because she drinks it straight out of the jar like it’s a milkshake.”
Claire: “I do not!”
Daniel: “I do!”
Claire: “Daniel! You’re not supposed to admit it!”