Games

[dng]

its a shame everything else is so boring because the battle system has some nice-ish ideas that maybe could have been interesting but they're not because the battles are all either a piece of piss or instant death. there is no inbetween

[richschnauzer]

[endar]

Nuclear War?

[vom]

I have also been killing a lot of spiders and bats (in Spelunky 2, which makes Spelunky 1 look easy)

[dng]

oh god

[dng]

i'm not sure i could cope with an even harder spelunky

[An Unicorn]

But I thought spiders were wonderful

[blombluss]

I'm not big on puzzle games, but Splitting Images, which became Split Personalities after TV show Spitting Image said 'Excuse me!', was rather fun.

[blombluss]

But I thought spiders were wonderful

I had to deal with a cocky spider last night. I hope the spider learns from the experience.

[dng]

Spiders are wonderful. Someone should make a game about a spider who lives in a cave and has to eat thousands of stupid adventurers who keep insisting on attacking it with swords

[dng]

The Spider Who Just Wanted To Sit In Her Web And Slowly Digest Flies

[dng]

Also that's just reminded me that my dragon book is getting published in America soon, and also translated into german

[dng]

I do not know why

[endar]

excellent

is it also being translated into american etc

[dng]

i hope so

[dng]

the drone that just wanted to bomb weddings

[blombluss]

Also that's just reminded me that my dragon book is getting published in America soon, and also translated into german

Oh, marvellous stuff! Congratulations!

[dng]

thank ye. by these people apparentally

https://rosenpublishing.com

(i have had no dealings with them at all, as it was my old publishers selling the US rights to them or whatever)

[dng]

i have no ideawhen it'll come out either

[dng]

i am the worst writer ever

[blombluss]

Not while Dan Brown is still alive, surely? :p

[blombluss]

thank ye. by these people apparentally

https://rosenpublishing.com

(i have had no dealings with them at all, as it was my old publishers selling the US rights to them or whatever)

That is so cool! Fingers crossed for youse, Sir!

[blombluss]

In games nudes... telly show GamesMaster is being revived. Fingers crossed they bring back Dexter Fletcher.

[Gravid]

Also that's just reminded me that my dragon book is getting published in America soon, and also translated into german

This is good news. I’m in the process of applying for German citizenship for me and my sons - once this is granted I intend to replace all of their story books with German language versions, without explanation. So I’m glad they will be able to continue enjoying the dragon book.

[dng]

hooray

[dng]

then you'll be able to tell me what the german word for berserk is

[blombluss]

All the best with the citizenship application, Gravuss, and I can't deny that I am a tad jealous, too! *thumbs up*

[CandyDarling]

This is wonderful news! (for both David and Gravid)

[CandyDarling]

Also I used to have the Spitting Image beat em up (as fighters were called back then), developed by the publisher of Splitting Images as part of the "please don't sue us" deal, if I'm recalling it all right. You had various world leaders killing each other in combat, in a style of game that you couldn't make today without getting death threats / assassinated. It played like shit, and the final battle with the Queen took place in the dark because they ran out of memory for the graphics.

[dng]

amazing

[blombluss]

Ha! I'd forgotten about that S.I. beat 'em up! What a load of pap it was!

[CandyDarling]

And speaking of Spitting-Image-style satire, the gaming event of the year is almost upon us!

THATCHER'S TECHBASE

[dng]

hooray

[blombluss]

The trailer pleased me muchly!

[dng]

I have been playing battle chasers: nightwar, which is exactly as generic a game as its name suggests.

I didn't even know I had this (i assume in a humble bundle or something, or maybe it was one of those free games sony gave everyone six months ago)

it was a humble bundle game, from some terrible humble bundle ps4 thing filled with awful THQ games.

it also included:

black mirror: utterly knacked haunted house game that's sort of a point and click but not quite, because instead it has the world's worst resident evil style controls with fixed camera points in what is also basically just the resident evil castle, also, but in scotland. and filled with scotasmans and womens instead of zombies. for some reason you don't play a scotsman though, but a posh englishman with the very worst voice acting of all time. i played through the first two chapters which were entirely boring but then gave up when i got to the third chapter which included sections where you have to watch some ghosts acting out the past on a loop occasionally, but if you look at them too long they get furious and kill you, but if you don't look at them long enough you won't get to see which random part of the screen you have to click on a prompt on. utter balls

this is the police: this is sort of two games in one, in that the story section of the game is basically a text adventur ein cutscene form, where you're the chief of police and you've got six months left at work and you haven't got a pension and everyone hates you and you have to make choices occasionally (the only choice that seemed to make any difference was that i refused to help my corrupt deputy out so the mafia cut his and his families heads off and posted them to me). this is coupled with a sort of resource sim thing where you have to answer 999 calls and send out your small team of shit cops to sort things out. anyway both sections are more boring than they should be, and also more disconnected from each other than they should be (ie i keep gettinga ll my cops killed but this doesn't seem to factor into the story sections about whether i'm up to the job or not). presumably you have to play through all this 180 times too but i am not going to. not ever. i have given up

destroy all humans 2: utterly knacked ps2 era FPS, where you play as the alien from perfect dark if the alien from perfect dark had an american accent and kept on talking about his human cock. this might possibly be okay but its so charmless i can't be fucked to find out

the dwarves: some sort of shit real time stratgey thing that i hated almost instantly

titan quest: a budget version of diablo or something, set in ancient greece. tedious. this also presumably was an early 2000s game originally

giant giana sisters: utterly terrible platform bollocks. no mario plagiarism in sight

darksiders: i also have this on the wii u. its still rubbish. all the worst bits of bayonetta (shit tedious looking demons everywhere) without any of the good bits of bayonetta (the fighting)

red faction 2: i haven't played this yet. but as its another ps2 FPS its bound to be depressing

[dng]

also locks quest and sine mora ex, but i haven't evenlooked at those yet so have no idea what they are

[dng]

anyway i'm glad THQ went out of business it serves them right

[blombluss]

dng is a monster

[blombluss]

a bearded monster

[blombluss]

like all the best monsters are

[dng]

i feel no remorse

[blombluss]

anyway i'm glad THQ went out of business it serves them right

Weren't they the wrestling gaem peoples?

[dng]

Probably. I think maybe the only thq game I knowingly bought was alien 3 on the super nintendo

[dng]

Or was that akklaim? Who knows

[dng]

It was akklaim I just checked. Also they were actually called acclaim, despite their logo

[dng]

I'm glad they went out of business too now

[blombluss]

Durell Software are still going, so that's something.

[dng]

Trading under the name Durell Solutions their main products are now:

Financial Adviser
General Broker
Mortgage Manager
Complete Administrator

[dng]

bit of a comedown there from fat worm blows a sparky

[An Unicorn]

What about that shit French company, Infogrames or summat