n3ta

ves, but they only last about a year, apparently

Look at this lovely looking loveliness

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1808 ... minvalley/

That looks wonderful

I was just coming in here to ask what I should do now I’ve finished Elden Ring, after 2 years, but I guess that answers it.

In the arcde in the yakuza game i'm playing at the moment you can play sonic the fighters, which i'd never even heard of before, and which i think might well be the very worst game i have ever played

(and i have played 4 games, etc etc)

also i keep read the title as sonic tie fighters and thinking maybe that would have been a better game for them to have made

anyway sonic the fighters is basically fighting vipers, which is already one of the shittier tekken clones, and then its made even shittier, somehow, in every possible way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSw_MFLupdA

(by adding sonic the hedgehoh and all his shitty friends into it)

in the latest like a dragon game they added Spikeout, which never got a home release, which is pretty cool.

excellent. i think thats the one that basically looks like its a yakuza game already (except without the talking, rpging)

also this yakuza game (lost judgment, one the spinoff games where you play a 40 year old detective), has the best, stupidest plotline/scenario ever, really

you have to go undercover as a teacher at a sixth form college to investigate some bullying or something, and half of this investigation involves beating the absolute shit out of teenagers for hours on end (it gives you a special intimidate move that can scare them into running away, but you never have to use that and can just use all your old various head smashing special moves instead), and the other half involves joining all the school clubs and gaining the kids trust by being better and cooler than them at everything they do in their clubs - photography, dancing, video games, boxing, skateboarding, robot wars, and, er, motorbike death racing for some reason), all while wearing a leather jacket and constantly giving everyone the thumbs up, like some absolute ultra fonz

then you can have sex with the sexy school nurse, and all while dressing suspiciously like what the games director dresses like (except not bald, because school kids would never respect a bald man)

excellent

DD wrote a thing

https://www.theguardian.com/games/2024/ ... cool-amiga

Following on from that, I keep seeing a magazine at my local WH Smiths called "Amiga Addict". This is the latest issue:

excellent. how odd

yes, so much happening on Amiga now the magazine is back, as is Zzap64

endar wrote: Fri Apr 26, 2024 4:31 pm DD wrote a thing

https://www.theguardian.com/games/2024/ ... cool-amiga

A solid article, that! Ta for sharing Daz!

i finally completed the witness, although i had to cheat because the last section contains a vast quantity of the very worst puzzles ever made all in a row for what feels like hours

then it follows this up with the crappiest ending in a game since, i don't fucking know, dizzy or something

i think i genuinely hate the witness

it did kind of make me want to play the talos principle again but i'm not sure i can be arsed

also i just saw that there's a sequel to the talos principle, but it's PS5 etc only, so i will presumably never ever play it

wait I've also been playing The Witness, what's going on

excellent, how weird

do you also hate the witness or is it just me?

I finished it but I've been doing some of the extra puzzles

I like it a lot more than The Talos Principle tbh, all of the endless, pointless text in that game bored me to death (puzzles good though)

You should play The Looker, it's free on Steam and apparently Jonathan Blow is upset that it exists

Yeah, the extraneous material in talos principle is every bit as tedious as the stuff in the witness, sadly

And there's 100,000% more of it

although i do like the bits in the talos principle when god starts bellowing at you for being disobedient occasionally

maybe jonathan blow should have added some bits where he bellows at you from behind the clouds for being disobedient/having fun in the witness

I felt motion sick playing the talos principle.

Also, my wife laughed and laughed at the god voice telling me what to do

weirdly, the witness gave me motion sickness (once, in 2021)

maybe inducing motion sickness is a vital part of their incredibly deep principles of design genius/philosophy

for some reason (depression) I’ve been watching the “summer games fest”, which is essentially e3, but with all the good bits removed

Needless to say it hasn’t cured my depression

In unrelated news, I’ve decided to never play a computer game ever again

oh no

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1FGE91E8fQ

[winkie smiley]

i saw that and wondered if it was you (before you left)

hooray, eggcellent

I hope it features a giant mutated hedgehog bellowing'WINDSCALE!'

That looks great! Huzzah for murderous robons!

yesterday, 24 years after first playing final fantasy 9 and failing to ever beat the final boss, and fifteen years or so after last playing final fantasy 9 and failing to ever beat the last boss, i finally played final fantasy 9 and actually beat the last boss

it was underwhelming really

now you get to be the boss

the boss was the personification of existential despair or something, so maybe i already have

I'm the kind of boss that can't even spell existenshil despair!!!

Axiom Vege 2 - whereas the first one was just super metroid, this one feels and looks more amiga-ery somehow. Quite short, and with oddly terrible combat most of the time (but at least not the tedious attritional gullet he'll bosses from the first one), but still pretty good. I expect getting 100% of everything will be more irritating than enjoyable, though

As is always the way of these things