n3ta

A quirky and clever concept - I enjoyed that, sir!

Tale #83: No Rooms

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... e-town-83/



“What’s all that noise up there? It sounds like a herd of elephants!”

“It’s Claire, Mum!”

“She’s upset!”

“Upset about what?”

“The new rooms!”

“What new rooms?”

“The old new rooms!”

“They’ve gone, Mum!”

“Gone? Gone where?”

“Just gone.”

“Completely gone!”

“There’s not even a door there any more!”

“Just a door shaped gap in the wallpaper!”

“It’s like the lodger was never here!”

“Well that’s weird. And a bit worrying, I have to say. But what’s that got to do with Claire?”

“Claire’s furious!”

“Really furious!”

“Furious even for Claire!”

“She’s stamping her feet!”

“And screaming!”

“And blaming the lodger!”

“Again!”

“I don’t think we can blame the… the… I don’t think we can blame that man this time.”

“She wanted those rooms for herself, Mum!”

“But the lodger took them!”

“She wanted them so bad and now she’s not going to get them at all!”

“Ever!”

“Well you don’t all have to sound so pleased about it…”

I've mentioned this kinda thing a number of times before, but this tale has got a lovely rhythm to it. Crash Smash! *thumbs up*

thank ye. also this lodger tale is almost over now, so maybe there'll be more variety in the stories afterwards. perhaps. no promises.

Tales From The Town #84: On The Nature Of Excitement

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... xcitement/

oddly, after writing that i went down stairs and my parents were watching the snowman for some reason

you'd think that'd be illegal in november but apparently its not

dng wrote: Sat Nov 19, 2022 8:04 pm Tales From The Town #84: On The Nature Of Excitement

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... xcitement/

I approve of that creative endeavour, Sir! May your crops grow thick, and your seeds be uberfertile! Hurrah!

dng wrote: Sat Nov 19, 2022 8:04 pm you'd think that'd be illegal in november but apparently its not

Have you checked the Magna Carta about that? It's mentioned on page 47.

Tale #85: The History Of The Well

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... -the-well/



The well wasn’t always haunted. But it had always been a well.

It is an echo of that which happens above, shaped by all the things it cannot see.

It’s as young as the rain, younger than clouds, newer than children, more recent than sleep.

Its memories are memories of the memories it once remembered itself. It longs. It yearns. It needs. It wants. But for what it does not know.

The well is a mouth that feeds on old bones. The well is a prison that is impossible to escape. The well is a hole even blacker than our hearts, even deeper than our despair.

Excellent wordsmith-ing, Davuss! There's some champion turns of phrases in there. *thumbs up*

"well" done!!!!;

hooray

also next week's episode is the final one of this rather pointlessly palindromic sequence of events that started all the way back here

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... -the-book/

and continued until now

vom wrote: Sat Nov 26, 2022 8:53 am "well" done!!!!;

My God! Aren't there any 'depths' that you won't 'sink' to?

I wish I was a nul page, anti-content.

In other nudes, I'm reading the Essex Terror bok againe. Hurrah!

hooray.

Here's the very last page of the book

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... -the-book/

and that's the end of that saga

(I might collect it all in to one page or book at some point)

That both charms and pleases me. I approves!

cheers

Tale 87: the very best idea ever

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... idea-ever/

I like that.

Also, we've all been there with that particular idea, haven't we? And even now, I still continue to believe the idea has merit!

Tales From The Town #88: The Ever Growing Urge To Do Something Else Other Than This



Claire could have been watching TV. She could have been sat on the wall. She could have been shouting at everyone. She could have been throwing rocks in the lake. She could have been pretending to be one of the dolls. She could have been eating. She could have been writing poetry while no one was looking and then scribbling it out and pretending she had never written any poetry at all not ever she was too good for poetry it didn’t deserve her. She could have been holding the cat in the dark beneath the second lot of stairs and planning her revenge. She could have been doing cartwheels in the park. She could have been having a bath. She didn’t want to be having a bath but she could have been having a bath it’d have been better than this. She could have been throwing a ball against the wall over and over again until someone told her to stop. She could have been bursting balloons. She could have been stamping in the mud in her wellies. She could have been stamping in puddles in her wellies. She could have been stamping on people’s toes in her wellies. She could have been pushing people over into the mud and then stamping in a puddle in her wellies. At the same time. While laughing.

But she was pretending to be ill so she didn’t have to go to school so she couldn’t do any of those things at all because she was too stubborn to stop pretending to be ill and go and do any of them at all.

Eggs ente!

tales from the town #89: the penguin (again)

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... e-penguin/



The penguin stood by the river and watched and waited and stared. It wasn’t lost anymore. It still had no idea what it was it was planning to do.

(i promise this is the end of the pointless palindromic tales structure now)

dng wrote: Sat Dec 24, 2022 5:31 pm tales from the town #89: the penguin (again)

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... e-penguin/



The penguin stood by the river and watched and waited and stared. It wasn’t lost anymore. It still had no idea what it was it was planning to do.

I heartily approve of this endeavour!

tale #90: the end of the year

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... -the-year/

Nice image/wordage combo. Concise, and whimsically profound.

Tale #91: the watch

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... the-watch/

Hurrah!

Tales From The Town #92: Tasting Menu (Courses 1-4)

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... urses-1-4/



1.

“What’s that?”
“It looks like some slugs.”
“Dead slugs.”
“It’s liquorice. It’s nice.”
“Urgh! It’s not nice, Nanny!”
“It’s not nice at all.”
“It tastes like slugs.”
“Live slugs.”

2.

“This stuff tastes like flowers!”
“And perfume.”
“And shampoo.”
“And eyeballs.”
“Eyeballs?”
“Eyeballs.”
“I don’t think it tastes like eyeballs at all.”
“I don’t even know what eyeballs taste like.”
“Well then how do you know it doesn’t taste like eyeballs, Nanny?”
“How do you know it does taste like eyeballs?”
“Everyone knows what eyeballs tastes like.”
“I was a crow once. That’s how I know what eyeballs taste like.”
“You were never a crow, Daniel.”
“I was! I flew into a cloud and thunder came out.”
“Daniel was never a crow, Nanny.”
“He’s making it up to impress you.”
“Well, I certainly am impressed, Daniel. So, who wants another piece of Turkish Delight?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Definitely NO!”
“Yes.”
“He doesn’t, Nanny.”
“I do.”
“You don’t, Daniel.”
“You definitely don’t.”
“That’s how they get you, Daniel.”
“You’ll never escape!”

3.

“What is this?!”
“It tastes like ice cream!”
“But it looks like lemonade!”
“It’s cream soda.”
“Cream spider more like.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!”
“You don’t make any sense!”
“I do!”
“You don’t!”

(repeat to fade)

4.

“You never ate these, Nanny.”
“We can’t believe anyone EVER ate these.”
“They’re not even food.”
“They’re weetabix, Nanny!”
“With butter on them!”
“And no milk!”
“I’m not finished yet. Look, next you sprinkle sugar on the butter like this…”
“Nanny, this is disgusting!”
“If Mum finds out you’re feeding us this she’s going to send you back to the moon!”
“Well, actually, this used to be your mother’s favourite, back when she was your age.”
“It wasn’t?!”
“It was.”
“Not Mum?!”
“She would NEVER.”
“Mum only eats spaghetti bolognese.”
“And cheese on toast.”
“And christmas cake and wine.”
“But not this.”
“Never this.”
“Dad was sent to the caves for less than this.”
“The lodger went to prison for less than this.”
“The witch was banished to hell for less than this!”

Quirky loveliness!

Kids would love that tale, I reckons!

They better leave my Turkish delight alone though

Also cheers

You need to become a ghostwriter for a famoux celeb who wants to write a childer bok! Or maybe we could just fake it?! Either method might get more eyebaals on yo' work!

I have eaten all the eyeballs

Then it is over.

I forgot to post the last few of these on here. Please don't hat eme

TAle #93: Poems From Minor Characters - https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... haracters/

Tale #94: Infinity Explained (part 1) - https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... ed-part-1/

Tale #95: The Shop: A Trilogy - https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... a-trilogy/

and a couple of unrelated bits of vague autobiography

menthol: https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... 0/menthol/

whisky: https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... 27/whisky/

that aren't tales from the town at all

dng wrote: Sat Feb 04, 2023 11:35 pm I forgot to post the last few of these on here. Please don't hat eme

TAle #93: Poems From Minor Characters - https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... haracters/

Tale #94: Infinity Explained (part 1) - https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... ed-part-1/

Tale #95: The Shop: A Trilogy - https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... a-trilogy/

Lovely stuff, Davuss. And it's always a pleasure to have infinity explained.

dng wrote: Sat Feb 04, 2023 11:35 pm and a couple of unrelated bits of vague autobiography

menthol: https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... 0/menthol/

whisky: https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... 27/whisky/

I used to smerk mental cigarettes, and they never made MY lungs bleed. Unless they did, and I was unaware of it. Oh God, lungbleed4000!

Also - vignettegoodness, both!

Excellent, thank you

Also please note I am not a doctor

dng wrote: Sun Feb 05, 2023 10:18 pm Also please note I am not a doctor

Wait, what?

ves. does that mean I can put my trou back on, then?

No