n3ta

Tales From The Town #229: Laundrette Dreams

Yulia uses the laundrette as a source of divination. Sit and stare into the swirl of soap and socks and see a glimpse of what’s to come. It might not be as accurate as tarot cards or tea leaves, but it’s more satisfying somehow. An hour removed from everyday existence, an excuse to think, a chance to dream, an opportunity to plan.

Her main worry is what she’ll do when this place closes down. It just wouldn’t be the same sitting on the kitchen floor watching the washing at home. Everyone would say she’d gone mad.

dng wrote: Mon Jan 12, 2026 5:27 pm

dng wrote: Mon Dec 01, 2025 9:42 pm small town simulator

https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/ ... /town.html

a tales of the town game, although the game portion doesn't actually exist yet (all you can do is move into your house, read some books, and look at the weather out of the window)

slightly updated now with a few more locations (i'd sort of done nothing on it for a month but i've restarted now)

another very slight update (there's a cash machine now, plus an occasional ghost in the washing machine)

if i continue at this pace the game will be finished in 2061 (approximately)

dng wrote: Sun Jan 18, 2026 2:16 pm if i continue at this pace the game will be finished in 2061 (approximately)

Slightly before the next gta game then

dng wrote: Wed Jan 14, 2026 8:00 pm Tales From The Town #229: Laundrette Dreams

Yulia uses the laundrette as a source of divination. Sit and stare into the swirl of soap and socks and see a glimpse of what’s to come. It might not be as accurate as tarot cards or tea leaves, but it’s more satisfying somehow. An hour removed from everyday existence, an excuse to think, a chance to dream, an opportunity to plan.

Her main worry is what she’ll do when this place closes down. It just wouldn’t be the same sitting on the kitchen floor watching the washing at home. Everyone would say she’d gone mad.

Excellent

Cheers

Tales From The Town #230: Entering And Breaking

“Claire!” Tina said.

“What?”

“You can’t do that!”

“Can’t do what?”

“Climb in through the window like that!” Tina said.

“I can,” said Claire, and proved it by slithering in through the ever so slightly open kitchen window. Then a few seconds later she slithered back out again. “See! And anyway, if Mum didn’t want me to climb through the window she shouldn’t have locked us all out.”

“How do you know Mum’s locked us out? She might have locked herself in.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Daniel,” Claire said. “And if it did, I’d still have to climb in through the window.”

“But it’s dangerous, Claire,” said Tina.

“Dangerous how?” Claire said. “It’s just a hole. It’s no different from using the door.”

“You don’t go through the door head first, Claire,” Tina said. “What if you fell?”

“I simply wouldn’t fall,” said Claire. “Anyway, I could just as easily go in feet first. Look.”

They all looked as this time she somehow slithered in through the window backwards. Then a few seconds later she slithered back out backwards too.

“See?”

“You better not have knocked Mum’s plants off into the sink,” said Ethel.

“You’re just making things up to complain about now,” Claire said. “Now unless you’ve got any sensible complaints – ” Daniel put his hand up at this point. ” – I’m going to go back inside and let you idiots in and then maybe you can thank me.” Daniel still had his hand up. “Urgh, okay, what is it Daniel?”

“What if…” Daniel said, slowly.

“This better be good, Daniel.”

“What if… a dog bites you on the bum,” Daniel said.

“Why would a dog bite me on the bum?” said Claire. “We don’t even have a dog, for one thing.”

“The cat might bite you on the bum then,” said Daniel.

“Why would the cat bite anyone?” Claire asked. “She’s got claws. She doesn’t need to bite my bum.”

“She might scratch you, then,” said Daniel. “On the knee!”

“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said, having already disappeared three quarters of the way through the window, only her face visible through the gap as she gave Daniel one last glare.

“Wait, what if…” Daniel said slowly, but this time he was interrupted by a scream and a crash and a splash and what sounded sort of like an explosion and then what was perhaps an implosion, which was quickly followed by several more crashes and then a thud and then two more thuds and maybe even a meow before finally there was a heavy dense unmoving silence.

Then inevitably after a short pause there was considerably less silence for a very long loud time and Daniel, Tina and Ethel didn’t know whether to be relieved or not.

Tales From The Town #231: The Forgotten Vending Machine

Standing sentry outside an abandoned shop
the forgotten vending machine still takes your coins
still dispenses its wares
still waits loyally
day after day
for its old masters to return

Tales From The Town #232: Curling

“What are you watching, Daniel?” Claire asked.

“Curling,” Daniel said.

“What?”

“Curling,” said Daniel.

“Curling is not a sport, Daniel.”

“It’s a game!”

“It’s not even a game.”

“It is!”

“Is not! Look, they’ve got brooms!”

“So?”

“That means it’s not a game, it’s a chore.”

“Says who?”

“Says me. Remember when Mum told us to play the sweeping up game?”

“Yes! That was so much fun!”

“Daniel! That wasn’t a game.”

“What was it then?”

“She was just making us tidy up the kitchen!”

“Because someone had fallen through the window and then traipsed mud all over the floor?”

“Exactly!”

“So wait, you’re saying that someone’s fallen through the window and traipsed mud all over the ice? At the Olympics?”

“Yes.”

“And Mum’s making them tidy it up?”

“Well, not our Mum.”

“Oh.”

“But someone’s!”

(imagine you're reading that one during the winter olympics)

while watching the curling

like i'll be doing

for 15 days straight

Tales From The Town #233: The Tower In The Sea, Just Off The Coast, Not Quite Past The Horizon

It had been a lighthouse.
It had been a lookout tower.
It had been an artillery platform.
It had been an observatory.
It had been abandoned (and then reclaimed).
It had been a pirate radio station.
It had been an illegal nightclub.
It had been an art gallery.
Full of artworks designed to rot slowly away in the salted air.
And now, finally, on its 187th birthday, of thereabouts,
it was on fire.

A single candle burning
on a cake made of rock.

dng wrote: Fri Jan 30, 2026 3:55 pm while watching the curling

dng wrote: Mon May 11, 2026 8:57 pm Tales From The Town #233: The Tower In The Sea, Just Off The Coast, Not Quite Past The Horizon

It had been a lighthouse.
It had been a lookout tower.
It had been an artillery platform.
It had been an observatory.
It had been abandoned (and then reclaimed).
It had been a pirate radio station.
It had been an illegal nightclub.
It had been an art gallery.
Full of artworks designed to rot slowly away in the salted air.
And now, finally, on its 187th birthday, of thereabouts,
it was on fire.

A single candle burning
on a cake made of rock.

Huzzah! Loiked dat!

blombluss wrote: Wed May 13, 2026 12:38 am

dng wrote: Fri Jan 30, 2026 3:55 pm while watching the curling

I don't know, I've never curled rob

You don't know what you're missing! *saucy wink*

Got an email today telling me my webhostings pretty much doubling in cost

Which is shite

mine is upsettingly expensive now too, I keep meaning to look for an alternative but then it's boring admin so I don't do it

ves

I don't even like to think about how much money down the drain my webspace has been for the last (thinks) twenty years.

Just develop your own webspace

duh

Tales From The Town #234: Oubliette (or the old gaol cell beneath the town hall you can go and visit on the weekends)

They left us here to waste away
until even our own families had forgotten us.

No records exist
of who we were

But the walls remember

Tales From The Town #235: Sunday Afternoon Family Entertainment

“Look at this,” said Daniel in a general invitation to everyone around as he stood on top of the hill in the middle of nowhere and then fell down the hill, all the way from the top to the bottom, in a series of strangely inelegant rolls.

“Any idiot could do that,” Claire thought to herself, distinctly unimpressed but too hot to actually bother articulating her unimpressedness.

Ethel, who was on her best behaviour today because her birthday was approaching and she didn’t want to give anyone any excuse to not buy her all the things she was currently dreaming of them buying her, somehow stopped herself from replying to Claire’s unsaid insult, “Well why don’t you, then?”

“Because,” Claire would have replied, but she was still too hot, and also now too thirsty. “I’m not an idiot.”

“She never said you were,” Tina didn’t even say to herself, let alone the others, because she was composing a poem about something, anything, that wasn’t the hill they were standing on, or the sun they were standing beneath.

“Yeah, but she thought it,” Agnes soundlessly mouthed to herself while she unpacked the picnic and swatted imaginary flies away from the food and put plates over the glasses of juice to ward off potential wasps.

“We all thought it,” said Daniel, out loud, and out of breath, having followed up falling down the hill, all the way from top to bottom, in a series of strangely inelegant rolls, with falling up the hill, all the way from bottom to top, in a series of surprisingly elegant rolls, which everyone had missed because they were too busy bickering, or dreaming of bickering, at least, because it was too hot and too close to their birthday and too boring and there were too many flies around for them to actually bother bickering today (or at least until later, when they were no longer in the middle of nowhere, but approaching the edge of somewhere instead).

“Anway,” said Daniel. “Look at this!”

Tales From The Town #236: Secret Secrets

The cat knows things nobody else does. You could call them secrets, if you wanted to, but they’re not really. It’s just that the cat pays attention to stuff we never see. There’s things outside our windows we can’t even imagine.

Tales From The Town #237: The Many Months Of Summer

Claire hated the months of summer (or at least the months of summer which coincided with school (which was at least two thirds of the months of summer (and even more if you included May (and the nice two weeks of September (which Claire definitely did))))).

I enjoyed #235, #236, and #237, but #234 saddened me a little, so hurrah for the other numbers!

they were obviously imprisoned for good reason homfrus

like being witches

and or drunks

I'm glad they were imprisoned, now!

Tales From The Town #238: The Last Day

"Yes!" said Ethel, as the bell went for lunch. "We can go home now..." She paused for maximum effect. "Because it's the last day!"

"The last day EVER!" said Daniel.

"No it's not," said Claire. "It's the last day of school."

"The last day of school EVER!" said Daniel.

"The last day of primary school ever," said Claire. "We still have to go to the stupid big school next year."

"I can't wait," said Tina.

"Because you're an idiot," said Claire. "Urgh, you've ruined the entire summer holidays Tina. I'm going to be thinking about that big stupid school all the time now. I bet they make us do homework. And schoolwork. And clubs."

"You only have to think about it until the end of today, Claire," said Daniel.

"Why?"

"Because then everything's going to explode!"

"What?"

"And then IMPLODE!"

"No it's not."

"It is!" said Daniel.

"But why?" asked Claire.

"Because it's the last day," Daniel said, doing a handstand to celebrate. "I already told you that."

"And how?"

"EVER!" Daniel explained, upside down.

can't believe it's the summer holidays already, only six months into summer

dng wrote: Fri Jul 17, 2026 12:26 pm Tales From The Town #238: The Last Day


"Because it's the last day," Daniel said, doing a handstand to celebrate. "I already told you that."

"And how?"

"EVER!" Daniel explained, upside down.

Hooray!

My teacher friend is livid because their school doesn’t stop until next Wednesday.

(for tomorrow, i suppose)

Tales From The Town #239: Not The Last Day

“What’s wrong Claire?’ Agnes asked, opening the curtains at ten minutes past ten exactly.

“Nothing,” said Claire.

“Well, you can’t stay in bed all day,” said Agnes. “The sun’s out.”

“So?!”

“So stop grumping and get up,” said Agnes. “You like the sun and you like the summer holidays.”

“I don’t,” said Claire. “The sun makes me sun burnt and the summer holidays make me bored.”

Agnes was still trying to think of some counter argument to those irrefutable facts when Claire interrupted the silence all on her own without even waiting for something to disagree with.

“And anyway Daniel said yesterday was going to be the last day ever and then it wasn’t,” Claire said. “He said there were going to be explosions and implosions and there weren’t any AT ALL!”

“Maybe they cancelled each other out…”

“Shut up Mum,” said Claire. “I’m already furious enough without you making it worse.”

She threw her hairbrush on to the floor and then crossed her arms over her chest and stared balefully round the room like some sort of fairy tale princess. Albeit a huge and particularly angry fairy tale princess. Maybe Goldilocks if she finished up by shouting at the bears until they all moved to the mountains.

“You’re furious because it wasn’t the last day ever?”

“YES!” Claire said. “I was looking forward to not existing AT ALL!”

“And what would that have achieved?”

“NOTHING!” shouted Claire, who wasn’t entirely sure what she was upset about anymore, she just knew that she was. “Urgh, fine, I’ll get up then. But you have to let me get an ice cream from the ice cream van.”

“Do I?”

“In fact you have to let me get TWO!” said Claire. “Otherwise I’m coming straight back to bed.”

It was, Agnes realised, going to be a long six weeks. It always was.

Delightful!

Also accurate!

The kids have 8 weeks off in the Czech Republic.

Which is nuts.

No wonder they're so good at tennis

Tales From The Town #240: A Summer Taunting

There was a cloud out to sea, raining.

Was it a mirage, a ghost, a premonition? Whatever it was, everyone in the town looked at it wistfully and begged it to come closer.

But it did not.

Tales From The Town #241: Quiche: A Critique

“Whoever invented quiche is an idiot,” Claire announced. She wasn’t even eating quiche. She was just thinking about it.

“Quiche wasn’t invented,” Daniel said. He wasn’t thinking about quiche at all. He was too busy eating it. “It was discovered.”

“By an idiot,” Claire said, still thinking about quiche. And suddenly also celery. “Whoever invented celery is an idiot.”

“Celery wasn’t invented,” Tina said. She was both thinking and not thinking about celery at the same time. Also she was drinking a cup of tea because she’d already eaten all the celery she could eat and it’d made her feel a bit ill. “It was grown.”

“By an idiot,” Claire said, thinking about quiche and celery now. And suddenly also ravioli. “Whoever invented ravioli is an idiot.”

“Ravioli wasn’t invented,” Ethel said. She was both thinking about and eating ravioli. “It was born.”

“It was not!” said Claire. But now she would never stop thinking about ravioli ever again. Ravioli, and where, where it came from.

Tales From The Town #242: The Circus

The circus was in town again. No one knew why.

There wasn’t even anything you could really do about it, except perhaps ignore it and hope they’ll leave everyone alone.

Good work, Sir! An elegant thumbs up to you!

Cheers

The Imp

He sits on a rock in the middle of the river, passing judgement on everyone who crosses. I shouldn’t care what he thinks of me. But I care so much I can’t sleep at night, wondering, worrying, wishing that he liked me more.

Awwwwwww!

here's a couple of old short stories from 2013 i just found that i don't think i ever put anywhere before

A Daughter’s Elegy For Her Mother At The Burning Of Her Bones (fantasy bollocks): https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... her-bones/
A Party (domestic misery): https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... 1/a-party/

I presumably didn't know the difference between an elegy and a eulogy back then

or maybe i just thought the word elegy sounded nicer