Saturday Afternoon Ikea Trip Simulator

[dng]

would you like to play a one joke twine game about going to ikea

https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/saturday.html

because i have made a one joke twine game about going to ikea

[Pual]

Content warning: ikea

[vom]

hooray I ate some meatballs

also I have never been in an IKEA with stairs before

[dng]

I have only been to ikeas with stairs before

[dng]

Probably because I've only ever been to one Ikea (essex ikea)

[dng]

For more information on essex ikea, please see the following article

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... kearotica/

[blombluss]

would you like to play a one joke twine game about going to ikea

https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/saturday.html

because i have made a one joke twine game about going to ikea

Ugh, I feel a bit ill now.

HURRAH!

Also - one joke is all you need!

[blombluss]

For more information on essex ikea, please see the following article

https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... kearotica/

This continues to be supoib!

"Heartbreakingly funny!" Blombluss - n3ta

[richschnauzer]

yesssss

https://youtu.be/5_LlAyaqxkk

to be played on a loop

[dng]

thank ye all

[CandyDarling]

I liked this game. The only Ikea I have been to is the one in Croydon. Once I saw some footage of people going to an Ikea in Japan, and it was basically the same as the one in Croydon. It's extraordinary how their stores all have the same stupid layout.

Also the only thing missing from the game was the area beyond the tills where you can get hot dogs for some reason. Maybe it was there, and the game so thoroughly simulated going to Ikea that I blocked that out. I remember something about Diam bars.

[dng]

When did they change Dimes to Daims anyway?

[dng]

Also I left the hot dogs out because they're too horrifying to contemplate

(also thank you)

[Gravid]

I accidentally ordered the meatballs instead of the slightly larger plate of meatballs, ruining everything.

[Bruce Sato]

I hope the meatballs came with pictorial instructions and an allen key

[blombluss]

Also I left the hot dogs out because they're too horrifying to contemplate

(also thank you)

#Who left the hot dogs out?#

#You! You! You!#

Shortly after delivering this lyric to the rest of the group, dng was 'let go' by the Baha Men. :'(

[An Unicorn]

Oh no David you've gone viral:

[dng]

Baffling

[dng]

I hope Ikea have me destroyed now

[dng]

i have hastily added some credits to this in the hope that will somehow make me famous

[dng]

I looked on boing boing and somehow they knew my name, which is a bit baffling, because i'm not sure it's even on accumulation of things anywhere particularly prominent (although maybe it is and I just forgot)

[blombluss]

Fame has changed you, Davuss. I remember the old Davuss, the good Davuss, the gentler, kinder Davuss...

Also - great stuff Dave! *double thumbs up*

[blombluss]

I hope Ikea have me destroyed now

Possibly turned into parts that can only be re-assembled using a special Allen Key, and also by attempting to follow baffling pictogram instructions.

[CandyDarling]

The man who says you should just follow the arrows fails to realise everything else that is wrong with Ikea

Also you shouldn't have to follow arrows to navigate a shop

[An Unicorn]

But I like lingonberries.

[dng]

i think i might too but i cannot remember

[dng]

no one can remember

[blombluss]

I've never heard of them, if that helps.

[dng]

Two years too late, I have put this on itch.io

https://dngdng.itch.io/saturday-afterno ... -simulator

if for some reason you want to play it again, and or download it

[dng]

also my itch.io page if you want to follow that

https://dngdng.itch.io

[dng]

i don't really know how itch.io works, so if i'm doing it wrong please tell me

[blombluss]

I downloaded the game off of itch.io, and that works just dandy. Also - hurrah for nightmarish retail experiences! Also, also - will there be a sequel?

[dng]

Onnly if I ever go to another shop ever again

[The Robotic Anomaly]

This vaguely reminds me of the Holiday Simulator in Novelty Automation in London. Novelty Automation is a collection of very n3ta style things, like the aforementioned Holiday Simulator, or Is It Art?

https://www.novelty-automation.com/

It's great.

[dng]

I went to southwold once but the pier was busy so i never went in to see any of these

[dng]

and have regretted it ever since

[dng]

(i also went to holborn once but never again)

[blombluss]

This vaguely reminds me of the Holiday Simulator in Novelty Automation in London. Novelty Automation is a collection of very n3ta style things, like the aforementioned Holiday Simulator, or Is It Art?

https://www.novelty-automation.com/

It's great.

Fab stuff! Tim Hunkin is aces!

[blombluss]

Onnly if I ever go to another shop ever again

Shops are dangrous. Very dangrous. They're a type of vampire but made of bricks.

[blombluss]

GO TO THE SHOPS DAVID!!!!