Democracy, Inaction

[An Unicorn]

Hello

I may have accidentally won an election

[dng]

Are you the new president?

[dng]

also hooray

[An Unicorn]

I have been elected Backup Queen until Ol' Lizzo emerges from her cocoon

[An Unicorn]

It appears to be the District Judge of Elections, which sounds vaguely important, but apparently just means I verify the number of names entered in the rolls equals the number of votes cast, then drive the results back to the county seat

[An Unicorn]

I could literally be replaced by an old modem

[An Unicorn]

And not even a good one, one of those shit 2400bps ones

[An Unicorn]

My wife and I were talking on the way in and saying we would write each other in for any write-in ballots and she said "don't vote for me, I hate people, I sure as hell don't want to work for them!" and I said "fine I'll write myself in!"

And that two-vote landslide put me in a three-way tie.

[An Unicorn]

To be decided by "casting lots," which here apparently means giving everyone a bingo ball, then pulling one and awarding the victory to whoever has the closest number.

[An Unicorn]

I found out about this a week after the tiebreaker actually happened because I don't check my mail very often

[An Unicorn]

I called and they said they were still working on tabulating all the results of the local tiebreakers

3 days ago

[An Unicorn]

Don't worry fellas, the system isn't laughably broken

[endar]

True freedom and democrazy there

just as the founding patriarchs dreamed of

[dng]

Excellent. I thought writing your own name in was some sort of film idea that didn't actually exist

[richschnauzer]

[An Unicorn]

I'm not sure why this isn't just a volunteer position like the rest of the polling place ones are, but what the hell, why not

[An Unicorn]

I'm sure if it was actually valuable one or both parties would have put up a candidate for it so i can't go too mad with power

[An Unicorn]

But I'm not about to let that stop me

[blombluss]

I, for one, welcome our new terrifying tyrant!

[dng]

Its about time we had a strong leader round here

[blombluss]

ves. a strong leader who likes puns.

[An Unicorn]

NO JOKES

[An Unicorn]

Unfortunately it looks like I did not win the elections.

I will have to take over the world by brute force instead.

[dng]

Weeep

[blombluss]

Boooooo! Get the army out, Unicornvuss! Shoot the traitors in their anuses!