Motion Pictures (that anuse me)

[vom]

I watched Bacurau the other day. I don't remember if it was ever discussed on olde n3ta but I thought it was excellent. It's about a small Brazilian town being picked on by Udo Kier and his gang of murder tourists. But the town is ready to fight!

It has quite a few John Carpenter references (including some of his music) and it's excellently tense, I recommend. Also features possibly the most heroic mullet I've ever seen.

[dng]

I recorded that off the tv to watch recently i think but haven't got round to actually watching it, like everything else i ever record off the tv

[dng]

so maybe i'll watch it soon (before 2026)

[vom]

also tonight I watched Pain & Glory, the most recent Almodovar film, and it was beautiful and also an unexpectedly perfect film to watch on mother's day

[dng]

the great wall - have you ever wondered what would have happened if the battle of helms deep took place on the great wall of china, and if the orcs were the generic alien hell beasts from pitch black, and also if legolas was matt damon? well then this is the film for you

[vom]

I have never wondered

[vom]

Not even now

[dng]

no. nor have i. and i watched it

[An Unicorn]

I wish I were a mongol hellbeast

[dng]

tonight i watched upgrade, a film in which that man who looks exactly like tom hardy but isn't actually tom hardy (logan marshall green) stars in a film that looks exactly like venom but isn't actually venom (not that i've seen venom). anyway in this he has an AI embedded in his brain rather than a whatever it is that venom is embedded in his brain (some sort of alien), and then he has to kill every man he sees. it was quite fun, quite stupid, had some good futuristic cars (normal cars covered in gold and/or silver)

[dng]

also the ai sounds exactly like kitt from knightrider, or at least how i remember kitt from nightrider sounded, having not seen nightrider for 30 years or whatever

[blombluss]

KITT's voice was rather too close to the accent and poetry of Pam Ayres, for my liking. Or was that KARR I'm thinking of?

[vom]

I liked Upgrade quite a bit

[dng]

yes it was good

[dng]

Today I watched the magnificent ambersons, an Orson Welles film about the worlds most abysmal man, who brings misery to absolutely everyone due to him being an utter arsehole. Some of this is great but it all felt like half of the film had been cut out and then had a pointless happy ending tacked on the end that was completely out of keeping with the rest of the film.

Then I went on Wikipedia and found out they'd cut half the film out and added on a pointless happy ending completely out of keeping with the rest of the film

[dng]

Poor Orson Welles

[dng]

Anyway at least I discovered the origin of the Simpsons joke where they show mr burns as a child and he has long beautiful blonde curly ringlets

[dng]

I'd always just assumed that was from Citizen Kane, like all the other mr burns backstory bits

[vom]

god I hated The Magnificent Ambersons. I'm not sure I could have coped with a longer version

[dng]

It would definitely have been hard work

[dng]

Maybe it would have actually allowed me to work out who was related to who and why the hell they all got kicked out of the house at the end

[dng]

Maybe I just don't understand how American inheritance works

[Chortle Hound]

I watched The Darjeeling Limited for the first time since it came out in the cinema all those long lonely years ago. I enjoyed it much more this time. I love most Wes Anderson films but didn't like this one when I saw it originally. In fact, I didn't not like it so much as it just didn't stick in my brain at all. This time it did. And it was good. Mostly.

I also watched the Snyder Cut in one sitting. It was fun. I was very, very drunk though.

[dng]

The Thing From Another World - for some reason i'd never seen this before. anyway, in this, the thing isn't a shapeshifter like in the john carpenter version, but a giant frankenstein made out of vegetable matter. also the whole film's actually much more like alien than it is like the thing, really. which is a bit strange probably

[dng]

anyway i liked it

[vom]

yeah it's great. I like that it has the fast-talking screwball thing going on

[dng]

yes. and also a cast of about a million people for some reason

[dng]

the worlds busiest totally isolated arctic research station

[Gravid]

I watched The Darjeeling Limited for the first time since it came out in the cinema all those long lonely years ago. I enjoyed it much more this time. I love most Wes Anderson films but didn't like this one when I saw it originally. In fact, I didn't not like it so much as it just didn't stick in my brain at all. This time it did. And it was good. Mostly.

I also watched the Snyder Cut in one sitting. It was fun. I was very, very drunk though.

I think we watched that together in a cinema in Cambridge, in 2007. I have watched it at least 3 times since then, and liked it every time. He's meant to have a new one out but I guess it's been Covid-delayed.

[Chortle Hound]

I must have been intoxicated by your presence to the point of sensory overload.

[endar]

Land of Mine

Watched this round parents today, recorded from bbc4. German POWs in 1945, basically kids, have to clear Danish beaches of mines. Very grim, dark and gritty. Looks and sounds very much like The Bridge. Contains harrowing scenes.

[blombluss]

This Island Earth on the Horror Channel was the cinematic background to me stuffing my holes with chocolate.

Je ne regrette rien!

[vom]

Lemonade Joe

Insane Czech Western comedy musical, in tinted black and white, about a teetotal gunman getting into a battle with two sinister brothers who sell whisky

This is utterly deranged and anyone who has Amazon prime should watch it because it is on there

Although warning: contains blackface scene

But it is parodying olden times blackface scenes rather than endorsing them so slightly less horrifying

But still quite horrifying

[blombluss]

I watched a film to-day.

96 minutes long it was.

[blombluss]

Also, I keep forgetting to ask my sister in law about Lemonade Joe / Limonádový Joe aneb Koňská opera. Next week, definitely!

[blombluss]

I watched a film to-day.

96 minutes long it was.

This one:

Crack in the World is a 1965 American science-fiction doomsday disaster movie filmed in Spain. It is about scientists who launch a nuclear missile into the Earth's crust, to release the geothermal energy of the magma below; but accidentally unleash a cataclysmic destruction that threatens to sever the earth in two. It was released by Paramount Pictures on February 24, 1965.

96 minutes long it was.

[blombluss]

7/10

[blombluss]

For being 96 minutes long.

[vom]

I wrote another filme article, about Pat and Mike, a film in which Spencer Tracy fantasises Katharine Hepburn's face onto a horse

https://www.the-solute.com/year-of-the- ... -and-mike/

[blombluss]

That was a fun read! Hurrah for CINEVOM!

[vom]

thank you!

[dng]

Yes. I love your articles vom

[vom]

you are kind

[dng]

for some reason tonight i watched conan the barbarian the "recent one" (its still ten years old). anyway it was exactly as shite and tedious and lcking in any sense of scale or atmosphere as you'd expect from a modern conan the barbarian film and i have no idea why it even exists

[blombluss]

I sorta like the original (when I'm in the mood for it), but I've absolutely no desire to see a reboot/remake. As you say, just pointless.

[Chortle Hound]

The original Conans are a hundred times better than the newer one, despite being pretty awful. I loved them as a kid.

I still listen to the soundtrack while driving sometimes.

[dng]

yes the first one has an amazing atmosphere (a bit like excalibur also) that makes it good even though obviously its not actually good

[blombluss]

And is Red Sonja the film where Arnie plays NOTconan, aka Lord Kalidor?

[dng]

i saw red sonja before i ever saw conan and i still thought he was conan in it

[blombluss]

Conman The Lie-barian more like!!!