Absurd old TV / movie things

Post by **blombluss** » Fri Aug 13, 2021 6:13 pm

A surprise beard is the best form of beard.

Post by **blombluss** » Sun Aug 15, 2021 11:44 pm

This isn't old TV, but it's definitely absurd.

Lazor Wulf (clips)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJvZtFu02-g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGPOQVRZSn8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd_c6DeOcSs

It's like an extremely toned down 12oz Mouse, but prettier.

Post by **richschnauzer** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:30 pm

Heyyyyyy, it's Mr. Safety here.

Post by **blombluss** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:33 pm

I'm only 2 minutes in, and ahahahahahahaha!

Post by **blombluss** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:35 pm

There's a little bit of Neil Tennant's talkie-bits on Pet Shop Boys records, about that chap's delivery.

Post by **richschnauzer** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:38 pm

Hmmmmmm.

Post by **blombluss** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:42 pm

Yes, hmmm... I think somebody on here has got some explaining to do!

Post by **vom** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:43 pm

absolutely incredible

Post by **dng** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:47 pm

Made slightly more sinister by youtube making me watch an advert that was just an unskippable 10 seconds of jimmy savile talking before hand

Post by **vom** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:47 pm

http://britainsmrsafety.co.uk/phone/index.html

Post by **vom** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 9:04 pm

Ironically, Mr Safety has five children

Post by **richschnauzer** » Mon Sep 13, 2021 9:21 pm

dng wrote: ↑Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:47 pm Made slightly more sinister by youtube making me watch an advert that was just an unskippable 10 seconds of jimmy savile talking before hand

Haha wtf

Post by **blombluss** » Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:53 am

vom wrote: ↑Mon Sep 13, 2021 9:04 pm Ironically, Mr Safety has five children

Ha!

That said, it's always safer to have spare childer.

Post by **blombluss** » Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:05 am

re: Absurd old TV / movie things

I've only just discovered that Eric Sykes was a fan of Ayn Rand.

Christ!

CandyDarling · Post by **CandyDarling** » Sat Sep 18, 2021 10:17 pm

dng wrote: ↑Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:47 pm Made slightly more sinister by youtube making me watch an advert that was just an unskippable 10 seconds of jimmy savile talking before hand

?!?!?!

That's a billion times worse than the time Youtube decided to put a full unskippable half hour episode of "Yokai Watch" in front of the video I actually wanted to see. (It was sponsored by Cartoon Network, and I don't think they understood what they were doing)

Anyway, here's something more on topic, albeit from 2014 so perhaps a bit too recent. These are from the IMDB trivia section of a typically shit British gangster film called "Full English Breakfast":

The scenes in Paris were achieved using green screen technology, masking tape, two cats and one half of a burger bun.

3.2 million of the budget for this film is lining somebodies pockets. The remaining 100,000 was spent on dental plans.

The bartender actually owns the night club

(The last one is presented in its entirety)

Post by **dng** » Fri Sep 24, 2021 9:13 pm

Thames Television Ident compilation - 1968 - 000's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikH9OLnU3ao

1 minute of strangely lovely brand re-assurance, followed by 1 minute of a spectacularly 90s breakdown leading ultimately to their own death

Post by **dng** » Fri Sep 24, 2021 9:13 pm

the first minute should then be followed by a man at a desk reading out birthday cards with a stuffed cat really

Post by **dng** » Fri Sep 24, 2021 9:13 pm

and/or dangermouse

Post by **blombluss** » Sat Sep 25, 2021 1:07 am

Those 'modern' Thames idents are poo.

That is all.

CandyDarling · Post by **CandyDarling** » Sat Sep 25, 2021 7:35 am

I have fond (albeit melancholic) memories of the very last one, which came in during late 1991, right after Thames lost their license. It was intended to be their new logo for a whole new decade, but then they lost out to Shitbollocks TV and it became their tragic epitaph as they counted down the months and weeks and days until the end of 1992.

Most of the "90s breakdown" ones, btw, were part of an early attempt at making ITV all look the same while still trying to have some regional identity with it. Thames and LWT went full in, a lot of other stations couldn't be arsed. Anglia, which I think was David's local ITV region, completely refused to use it as they'd already spent loads on an abstract floating CG flag.

The very first CG Thames logo was intended as a stopgap to last until the 1989 relaunch happened, and it doubled up as a 21st year anniversary logo. I remember being off school for half-term and being surprised by it when I tuned in to see... I want to say "James The Cat". I was quite impressed with it at the time; now it looks rubbish, of course...

Here's some additional nighttime classic Thames idents, used during the early days of ITV stations going 24-hour - you'd see these at about 3am back in 1987, usually before an old Hammer Horror or Casey Kasem telling U2 to fuck off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=majLvb_ah8s

Post by **richschnauzer** » Sun Sep 26, 2021 4:09 pm

Am pretty sure I saw a contemporary one of these about Noel Edmunds.

Post by **richschnauzer** » Sun Sep 26, 2021 4:22 pm

richschnauzer wrote: ↑Sun Sep 26, 2021 4:09 pm

Am pretty sure I saw a contemporary one of these about Noel Edmunds.

o ghod I found it

Post by **endar** » Sun Sep 26, 2021 4:31 pm

in hospital for two weeks but suffered no great injury

sounds legit

Post by **Bruce Sato** » Sun Sep 26, 2021 4:36 pm

I'd love to see his later career covered in the same style

Post by **endar** » Sun Sep 26, 2021 5:43 pm

Just a series of identical panels that read:

in 1974, no-one died
In 1975, he befriended at least 3 known paedophiles at the BBC

etc

Post by **blombluss** » Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:21 am

At the bottom of the Ronnie Barker one, it says: Next Week - Glenn Hoddle.

I hope it covers the bit about how he said that disabled people are paying for sins committed in a previous life.

And even worse than that, that Diamond Lights song.

Post by **richschnauzer** » Tue Sep 28, 2021 7:52 pm

Miss Anglia - 1980, presented by Fred Dinenage jaw dropping.

Post by **endar** » Tue Sep 28, 2021 8:56 pm

that looks fucking excruciating

Post by **blombluss** » Tue Sep 28, 2021 11:10 pm

For me, his bow tie adds much needed gravitas to the proceedings.

CandyDarling · Post by **CandyDarling** » Wed Sep 29, 2021 3:17 am

By coincidence, a Youtube channel / blog I'm subscribed to did a full video essay / documentary / pisstake on British TV beauty contests the other day. The whole of the first half is dedicated to Miss Anglia 1980, and the second half is even grimmer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeC_zB32U8c

Post by **blombluss** » Wed Sep 29, 2021 2:26 pm

I'll check that oot - ta!

Post by **richschnauzer** » Wed Sep 29, 2021 7:37 pm

Post by **vom** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 10:50 am

Question from a friend:

Does anyone remember an advert from the 90s featuring rap about vitamins? I just referenced it and my partner looked at me like I was crazy.

Vitamin A for your eyes
Vitamin B for skin
<something else>
and Folic Acid for REPRODUCTION

I think the guy may have got a bit naked on the reproduction bit

Feels like something n3ta might remember

Unless my friend is losing her mind

Post by **dng** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:14 pm

i do not remember that at all. or indeed any adverts about vitamins at all

Post by **Bruce Sato** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:38 pm

I remember it, it used to be on during Good Morning Britain I think

Post by **Bruce Sato** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:41 pm

Found it (or something very like it, anyway)

Post by **dng** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:44 pm

what a terrifying thing

Post by **vom** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:21 pm

incredible, that must be it

wonderful work, Bruce

Post by **blombluss** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 2:40 pm

What the blood and stomach pills is that advert?!?!

I've definitely never seen that befo - it's nightmare-ish :'(

Post by **Bruce Sato** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 5:21 pm

Here is a variant, which is a little less terrifying. I don't think this was shown on British telly though.

Post by **blombluss** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 7:28 pm

An Unicorn · Post by **An Unicorn** » Thu Sep 30, 2021 11:41 pm

Oh sure I did all this hard work for nowt

CandyDarling · Post by **CandyDarling** » Fri Oct 01, 2021 2:47 am

Apparently the first one that Bruce posted was the UK version, it was broadcast in New Zealand as well. Also the bloke in the advert was possibly someone who was in Brookside once - Mark Moraghan, who I am mainly familiar with for being one of The Scousers in Harry Enfield's shows.

The other one may have been made for French-speaking territories, or so it's claimed in the comments.

Post by **richschnauzer** » Thu Oct 07, 2021 7:31 pm

have I shared this before? Genuinely can't remember.

https://youtu.be/5vCmc0DFnhs

Post by **blombluss** » Sat Oct 09, 2021 12:15 am

P'raps you shared it in a previous life?

Post by **richschnauzer** » Sun Oct 17, 2021 7:15 pm

terald vogon

Post by **blombluss** » Mon Oct 18, 2021 12:03 am

Terrald Woguss followed next week by Liam Brady?!?! Is 'Buddy' RTE's in-house magazine, eh? Eh? EH?

Post by **richschnauzer** » Sat Oct 23, 2021 11:47 am

https://twitter.com/ukads3/status/14518 ... 78817?s=20

amazing.

Post by **blombluss** » Sat Oct 23, 2021 11:10 pm

The BullSHIT Shopping Centre, more like!!!!!!!

Actually, I found it's crappiness quite endearing!

CandyDarling · Post by **CandyDarling** » Mon Oct 25, 2021 10:02 pm

An article on modern cinema that is beyond parody