A Cast Of Characters
Re: A Cast Of Characters
That is the sesy fate of all Davids.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
we are the enigmas of our time
Re: A Cast Of Characters
ves. full of secret encrypted information. also cog wheels and a german standard keyboard layout.
Re: A Cast Of Characters
My nieces/nephrons are here for half term, so i probably won't be aound for a few days, due to being made to play video games/make chocolate rice crispy cakes with them, etc etc.
Anyway, here's an earlier hallowee story
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... halloween/
that is actually four or more halloween stories at once
Anyway, here's an earlier hallowee story
https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... halloween/
that is actually four or more halloween stories at once
Re: A Cast Of Characters
Tales From The Town #221: Spooky Stories For Halloween
It was the night before whatever day it is that comes after Halloween. It was dark outside, quite cold, raining (probably), and windy (definitely). The power was off, and nobody could even use their phones any more because the batteries had run out hours ago, so there was nothing at all for any of them to do except sit in the living room with some sweets and tell each other scary stories by torchlight.
And for those of us who weren’t invited, maybe we can put our ear to the door, stand as quietly as we can, and listen in. We might have missed the start, but we’re sure to hear the rest….
Tina’s Spooky Story For Halloween (fragment)
…for they knew that when the sun came up, they would never be able to see each other ever ever again.
Intermission/Interpretation
“And that’s the end of The Halloween Parting,” said Tina, as she closed her book and looked up slightly shyly at her audience.
“Wow,” said Daniel. “Spooky!”
“And amazing!” said Ethel, breaking into applause and throwing various packs of sweets at Tina to celebrate her storytelling triumph. “Best story ever!”
“What? No it wasn’t!” said Claire. “It was awful.”
“You’re awful,” said Ethel.
“Shut up,” said Claire. “This was the worst spooky story ever and you all know it.”
“I don’t know it,” said Daniel.
“You don’t know anything,” said Claire.
“Claire doesn’t have to like my story if she doesn’t want to,” Tina said quietly, sadly.
“Which is just as well, because I hated it,” said Claire. “First of all it wasn’t spooky at all.”
“But it had a vampire in it!” said Daniel. “And a frankenstein!”
“And they were in love!” said Ethel.
“Which means it was a romance,” said Claire. “So not even spooky in the slightest. And secondly it was a stupid romance, because if they were so in love why didn’t they just tell each other instead of not telling each other?”
“Because a vampire and a frankenstein can never be together,” said Daniel.
“Why not?”
“Vampire’s drink blood, and frankensteins don’t have any blood,” said Ethel.
“Only embalming fluid,” said Daniel.
“It’s what makes it so tragic,” Ethel added, tears welling up again as she contemplated just how sad the story was.
“Tragically awful,” said Claire. “None of that was even in the story anyway.”
“It was implied,” said Ethel.
“No it wasn’t,” Claire said. “And thirdly they weren’t even real vampires or frankensteins. They were just wearing costumes. Which is stupid. They could have been anyone, dressed up as anything.”
“It’s a metaphor,” said Tina, almost inaudibly.
“There’s no point explaining it, Tina,” said Ethel. “Claire doesn’t know what a metaphor even is.”
“Of course I know what a metaphor is,” said Claire. “It means that the story means even less than you thought it meant in the first place. And I already thought that it meant absolutely nothing at all!” Claire glared at everyone to prove she was right and they were wrong. “So Tina should put those sweets back in the blow so someone who tells an actual spooky story about something instead of a stupid love story about nothing can win them.”
Tina silently passed her torch over to Ethel and receded slowly, ignominiously, into the shadows. Beside her, in the eerie pale LED glow, Ethel stood up, waited until the rhythmic thud of sweets being returned to the fruit bowl had faded, and began to tell her terrible tale of terror…
Ethel’s Spooky Story For Halloween
This story is called The Spooky Old Tree Full Of Spiders and it was written by me, Ethel, and no one else, especially not Claire, so if hers is similar to this it’s because she copied me and I didn’t copy her at all.
Now, if you go down to the woods today, you’ll see a spooky old tree that used to be full of spiders. Big ones, little ones, poisonous ones, venomous ones, those hairy ones that look like they live on dad’s back. Just millions of spiders. Billions of them. Maybe even trillions of them. Nobody knows because no one, not even a computer, not even Claire, could count that high.
But did you see how I said it used to be full of spiders? That’s because now there’s no spiders in that tree at all. There’s not even any cobwebs.
So where have they gone? Nobody knows. But they must have gone somewhere. Perhaps they’re right here in our house, in this room, about to crawl out from beneath the rug or drop down from the ceiling or come rushing at us in a great big wave out of the chimney to EAT US ALIVE TO DEATH RIGHT NOW!
Intermission/Interruption
“Aaaaaaaaaargh!” Claire screamed.
“Haha! I scared Claire!” said Ethel, pretty proudly. “With imaginary spiders!”
“No you didn’t!” Claire said. “It was Mum.”
“Mum? What did Mum do? She’s not even here.”
“She opened the door,” said Claire.
“No she didn’t,” said Ethel.
“No one opened the door at all,” said Tina.
“Someone opened the door,” said Claire. “Otherwise it’d be closed.”
“It is closed,” said Daniel. He reached out and pushed it firmly shut with his foot to prove it.
“Only because Mum obviously closed it again when I screamed,” said Claire. “That’s why you should always scream at spiders. Because it scares them off.”
“Mum’s not a spider,” said Ethel.
“She’s worse than a spider,” said Claire. “And she’s much worse than Ethel’s stupid story about spiders.”
“Worse as in scarier or worse as in more awful?” Tina asked.
“Worse as in way scarier because Ethel’s story wasn’t scary at all,” said Claire. “And worse because spiders can’t open doors and spy on us but Mum can. And did. I wouldn’t have screamed otherwise.”
“Why would Mum spy on us?” Tina asked.
“Why wouldn’t Mum spy on us?” Claire asked back.
“Maybe she wants to hear our stories,” said Daniel.
“Why would she want to hear these stories?” said Claire. “They’re not even scary AND they’re boring.”
“Mine wasn’t boring,” Ethel said.
“Well it certainly wasn’t scary,” said Claire. “It was barely even spooky.”
“I thought it was scary,” said Daniel, quietly, from underneath the settee.
“Only because you’re scared of everything,” Claire said.
“I’m not scared of every thing, although I can be scared by any thing” said Daniel, thinking of all the things he had ever been scared of as he said it and slightly scaring himself all over again as he thought it. “And I’ll tell you what I definitely am scared of. My very own SPOOKY STORY (that is also scary and definitely not even slightly boring at all)!”
He took the torch from Ethel, flicked it into the battery saving quick flash mode (the spookiest of all the torch’s modes), and began to tell his tale to the assembled crowd (and Mum if she was still listening just outside the door)…
Daniel’s Spooky Story For Halloween
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a land not very far from here because it was ACTUALLY HERE, in the middle of winter, after school, in the RAIN, and also the SNOW (and it was pretty windy too, and getting dark), instead of coming home with you three, like a good boy, I walked all the way to Nanny’s house instead, like a really good boy, because it was her birthday, and I wanted to give her a present and also show off my new coat, which was bright red, and had a hood, which was also bright red, and it was HUGE! It came right down to my nose!
So I walked through the woods, past the witch’s house, round the pylon, past the witch’s house again, and then back through the woods, all the way to Nanny’s house.
“Hey Nanny!” I said. “It’s me, Daniel! And I’m wearing a super cool super warm super amazing red coat. And also I’ve brought you some tasty presents for your birthday! Which it is! Today!”
But Nanny wasn’t there. I looked all round and she wasn’t anywhere. She wasn’t in the kitchen, she wasn’t watching TV, she wasn’t in her bedroom, she wasn’t in the spare bedroom, she wasn’t on the roof, she wasn’t anywhere. But then I saw her come rolling out of the cupboard under the stairs and trundling off into the living room, and then she called out, in a voice that sounded EXACTLY like Nanny’s, but also different somehow. “Oh, Daniel, is that you my dear? Why don’t you come down here so Nanny can say hello to her very favourite grandson with her very own voice and look upon you with her very own eyes!”
So I went downstairs, and there was Nanny, sitting in the living room, watching SNOOKER! Or was it darts? It was either snooker or darts. Or bowls. Something utterly unwatchable by normal human eyes, anyway.
“Here I am Nanny!” I said, and Nanny looked at me with her very own eyes, which looked exactly like Nanny’s eyes had always looked, but also slightly different somehow.
“Wow, Nanny, your very own eyes are huge!” I said. “And they never ever blink!”
“All the better to see you with,” Nanny said. “Now why don’t you come a little closer, so I can touch your nice bright red coat with my very own hands and feel how cool yet warm this amazing piece of clothing is!”
So I stood a little bit closer, and Nanny ran her hands up and down my sleeve, which felt exactly like it always feels when Nanny runs her hand up and down our sleeves, but also slightly different somehow.
“Wow, Nanny, your hands are like big metal irons,” I said. “And they hum so loudly!”
“All the better to straighten out all the little creases,” Nanny said. “Now why don’t you shove those tasty presents in that basket you brought me right into my mouth like a good boy.”
“Wow, Nanny, what big sharp weird teeth made out of cogs and knives and whizzing whirring blades you have,” I said, as I began pushing all the bananas I’d brought from home into her mouth.
“All the better to maximise nutrient extraction,” she said, as she minced up those bananas into a weird paste with her food processor mouth, exactly like she always did, except slightly different somehow.
And it was only then, as she enjoyed her disgusting, revolting, inedible, uneatable, utterly inhumanely dreadful bananas, exactly like she always did, that I realised that Nanny wasn’t a human at all.
She was a robot!
Intermission/Interrogation
“And that’s the end of my spooky story for spookyween,” said Daniel, taking a packet of wiggly strawberry worms out of the fruitbowl to celebrate a tale well told.
“That is not a spooky tale, Daniel,” said Claire, taking his packet of wiggly strawberry worms away from him and putting them back in the bowl. “It’s just Little Red Riding Hood with a robot at the end. So no wiggly worms.”
“Oh come on Claire,” Tina said. “Let Daniel have his wiggly worms.”
“None of us even like wiggly worms,” Ethel said. “So he might as well have them.”
“Urgh okay, have your stupid wiggly worms,” Claire said, throwing the packet of wiggly worms at Daniel. “It still wasn’t scary in the slightest. Robots are science fiction not spooky fiction.”
“It wasn’t any sort of fiction,” said Daniel. “It’s a true story.”
“No it wasn’t,” said Claire.
“Yes it was,” said Daniel.
“If it was a true story,” said Claire, her eyes narrowing in the torch light. “How did you walk to Nanny’s house, when Nanny lives on the moon?”
“It was before Nanny moved to the moon,” Daniel said. “Obviously.”
“That sounds unlikely,” Claire said. “But okay, if it happened in the past, how come Nanny isn’t a robot now? We’ve seen her loads since then.”
“She is,” said Daniel. “Haven’t you seen how many bananas she eats? And liquorice! If she was a human there’s no way she’d eat liquorice. It’s made out of oil. And bananas are made of sick. And I think also bogies.”
“You never even mentioned liquorice in your stupid made up story. And if she was a robot she wouldn’t eat bananas or liquorice,” said Claire. “She’d eat electricity.”
“Maybe she only eats moon electricity,” said Daniel, with a shrug of his shoulders.
“And why did you take her bananas and liquorice in the first place if only robots eat bananas and liquorice and you didn’t even know she was a robot yet?”
“Because Nanny likes bananas and liquorice,” said Daniel. “And also it was her birthday.”
“Nanny’s birthday isn’t even in the winter,” said Claire. “It’s either in the summer or the spring.”
“Robo-Nanny’s is!” Daniel said. “And also I was getting rid of all our bananas so that Mum couldn’t make any of us eat them. You should be thanking me not interrogating me.”
“You’re the only one here who doesn’t like bananas, Daniel,” Claire said “So what happened to actual Nanny, anyway? Did the robot eat her too?”
“Nothing happened to Nanny,” Daniel said.
“What do you mean, nothing happened to Nanny? Something must have happened to Nanny, otherwise she wouldn’t have replaced by a robot.”
“Nothing happened to Nanny,” Daniel said. “She’s always been a robot.”
“What?!” Claire said. “No she hasn’t.”
“She has,” said Daniel.
“Yeah, that’s the entire point of the story, Claire,” Tina said.
“Otherwise it wouldn’t even make any sense,” said Ethel.
“But it didn’t make sense,” said Claire.
“Stories don’t have to make sense, Claire,” Tina said.
“That doesn’t make sense, either,” Claire said. “At least my story makes sense.”
“I bet it doesn’t,” said Ethel.
“I bet it does,” said Claire. She snatched the torch out of Daniel’s hand with a frightening show of speed. “Now shut up and listen…”
Claire’s Actually Spooky Story For Halloween
“There’s no such thing as ghosts!”
And to prove it, Claire disappeared from existence entirely.
After Show/Aftermath
The torch hit the floor with a thud, bounced up into Daniel’s forehead, hit the floor again, flickered once, and went out. In the ensuing silence and darkness, no one was quite sure if the story had started, paused dramatically mid way through, or finished entirely.
By the time Daniel got the torch back on, Claire really had disappeared from existence entirely.
“So Claire was a ghost all along?” Daniel asked, genuinely quite impressed. “Spooky.”
“Of course Claire’s not a ghost,” Ethel said. “She’s just copying the end of your Nanny story and crossing it with the end of my spider story and then adding in the end of Tina’s vampire story for some sort of annoying effect.”
“Double spooky,” Daniel said, as retrieved the torch and panned it round the room searching for her. “So where is she then?”
“Maybe she sneaked out the door while we were all waiting for her story to start, get going, or end?” Ethel suggested.
“There’s no way Claire sneaked out of anywhere,” said Tina. “Maybe she’s hiding under the sofa?”
“But I’m under the sofa,” said Daniel. “Maybe she climbed up the chimney?”
He pointed the torch up the chimney but she wasn’t there either.
“Maybe she’s behind the curtains?” Ethel suggested, suddenly yanking them open in the hope of revealing Claire but only actually revealing the cat sleeping beside the radiator.
“Perhaps she’s scuttling about on the ceiling?” Tina suggested, and they all very slowly looked up…
…but she wasn’t up there either (unless she’d turned into a spindly little spider, which obviously she hadn’t).
“I suppose this must mean Claire really did never actually exist at all, then?” Daniel said. “Triple spooky.”
“If Claire never existed, who dropped the torch into your face?” Ethel asked.
“Oh yeah,” said Daniel.
“And if Claire never existed, who even suggested this story competition in the first place?” Tina asked.
“Oh yeah,” said Daniel.
“And if Claire never ever existed,” said Ethel, pointing to the empty spot where the fruitbowl where the sweets had been had been. “Who stole all our sweets?”
“Oh no!” said Daniel. Even his packet of wiggly worms was gone.
“And I don’t even like wiggly worms,” said a ghostly ghastly disembodied voice that came from everywhere at once, followed by an equally ghastly ghostly cackling laugh that lasted until midnight and beyond (when Claire fell out of the cupboard with a thump).
It was the night before whatever day it is that comes after Halloween. It was dark outside, quite cold, raining (probably), and windy (definitely). The power was off, and nobody could even use their phones any more because the batteries had run out hours ago, so there was nothing at all for any of them to do except sit in the living room with some sweets and tell each other scary stories by torchlight.
And for those of us who weren’t invited, maybe we can put our ear to the door, stand as quietly as we can, and listen in. We might have missed the start, but we’re sure to hear the rest….
Tina’s Spooky Story For Halloween (fragment)
…for they knew that when the sun came up, they would never be able to see each other ever ever again.
Intermission/Interpretation
“And that’s the end of The Halloween Parting,” said Tina, as she closed her book and looked up slightly shyly at her audience.
“Wow,” said Daniel. “Spooky!”
“And amazing!” said Ethel, breaking into applause and throwing various packs of sweets at Tina to celebrate her storytelling triumph. “Best story ever!”
“What? No it wasn’t!” said Claire. “It was awful.”
“You’re awful,” said Ethel.
“Shut up,” said Claire. “This was the worst spooky story ever and you all know it.”
“I don’t know it,” said Daniel.
“You don’t know anything,” said Claire.
“Claire doesn’t have to like my story if she doesn’t want to,” Tina said quietly, sadly.
“Which is just as well, because I hated it,” said Claire. “First of all it wasn’t spooky at all.”
“But it had a vampire in it!” said Daniel. “And a frankenstein!”
“And they were in love!” said Ethel.
“Which means it was a romance,” said Claire. “So not even spooky in the slightest. And secondly it was a stupid romance, because if they were so in love why didn’t they just tell each other instead of not telling each other?”
“Because a vampire and a frankenstein can never be together,” said Daniel.
“Why not?”
“Vampire’s drink blood, and frankensteins don’t have any blood,” said Ethel.
“Only embalming fluid,” said Daniel.
“It’s what makes it so tragic,” Ethel added, tears welling up again as she contemplated just how sad the story was.
“Tragically awful,” said Claire. “None of that was even in the story anyway.”
“It was implied,” said Ethel.
“No it wasn’t,” Claire said. “And thirdly they weren’t even real vampires or frankensteins. They were just wearing costumes. Which is stupid. They could have been anyone, dressed up as anything.”
“It’s a metaphor,” said Tina, almost inaudibly.
“There’s no point explaining it, Tina,” said Ethel. “Claire doesn’t know what a metaphor even is.”
“Of course I know what a metaphor is,” said Claire. “It means that the story means even less than you thought it meant in the first place. And I already thought that it meant absolutely nothing at all!” Claire glared at everyone to prove she was right and they were wrong. “So Tina should put those sweets back in the blow so someone who tells an actual spooky story about something instead of a stupid love story about nothing can win them.”
Tina silently passed her torch over to Ethel and receded slowly, ignominiously, into the shadows. Beside her, in the eerie pale LED glow, Ethel stood up, waited until the rhythmic thud of sweets being returned to the fruit bowl had faded, and began to tell her terrible tale of terror…
Ethel’s Spooky Story For Halloween
This story is called The Spooky Old Tree Full Of Spiders and it was written by me, Ethel, and no one else, especially not Claire, so if hers is similar to this it’s because she copied me and I didn’t copy her at all.
Now, if you go down to the woods today, you’ll see a spooky old tree that used to be full of spiders. Big ones, little ones, poisonous ones, venomous ones, those hairy ones that look like they live on dad’s back. Just millions of spiders. Billions of them. Maybe even trillions of them. Nobody knows because no one, not even a computer, not even Claire, could count that high.
But did you see how I said it used to be full of spiders? That’s because now there’s no spiders in that tree at all. There’s not even any cobwebs.
So where have they gone? Nobody knows. But they must have gone somewhere. Perhaps they’re right here in our house, in this room, about to crawl out from beneath the rug or drop down from the ceiling or come rushing at us in a great big wave out of the chimney to EAT US ALIVE TO DEATH RIGHT NOW!
Intermission/Interruption
“Aaaaaaaaaargh!” Claire screamed.
“Haha! I scared Claire!” said Ethel, pretty proudly. “With imaginary spiders!”
“No you didn’t!” Claire said. “It was Mum.”
“Mum? What did Mum do? She’s not even here.”
“She opened the door,” said Claire.
“No she didn’t,” said Ethel.
“No one opened the door at all,” said Tina.
“Someone opened the door,” said Claire. “Otherwise it’d be closed.”
“It is closed,” said Daniel. He reached out and pushed it firmly shut with his foot to prove it.
“Only because Mum obviously closed it again when I screamed,” said Claire. “That’s why you should always scream at spiders. Because it scares them off.”
“Mum’s not a spider,” said Ethel.
“She’s worse than a spider,” said Claire. “And she’s much worse than Ethel’s stupid story about spiders.”
“Worse as in scarier or worse as in more awful?” Tina asked.
“Worse as in way scarier because Ethel’s story wasn’t scary at all,” said Claire. “And worse because spiders can’t open doors and spy on us but Mum can. And did. I wouldn’t have screamed otherwise.”
“Why would Mum spy on us?” Tina asked.
“Why wouldn’t Mum spy on us?” Claire asked back.
“Maybe she wants to hear our stories,” said Daniel.
“Why would she want to hear these stories?” said Claire. “They’re not even scary AND they’re boring.”
“Mine wasn’t boring,” Ethel said.
“Well it certainly wasn’t scary,” said Claire. “It was barely even spooky.”
“I thought it was scary,” said Daniel, quietly, from underneath the settee.
“Only because you’re scared of everything,” Claire said.
“I’m not scared of every thing, although I can be scared by any thing” said Daniel, thinking of all the things he had ever been scared of as he said it and slightly scaring himself all over again as he thought it. “And I’ll tell you what I definitely am scared of. My very own SPOOKY STORY (that is also scary and definitely not even slightly boring at all)!”
He took the torch from Ethel, flicked it into the battery saving quick flash mode (the spookiest of all the torch’s modes), and began to tell his tale to the assembled crowd (and Mum if she was still listening just outside the door)…
Daniel’s Spooky Story For Halloween
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a land not very far from here because it was ACTUALLY HERE, in the middle of winter, after school, in the RAIN, and also the SNOW (and it was pretty windy too, and getting dark), instead of coming home with you three, like a good boy, I walked all the way to Nanny’s house instead, like a really good boy, because it was her birthday, and I wanted to give her a present and also show off my new coat, which was bright red, and had a hood, which was also bright red, and it was HUGE! It came right down to my nose!
So I walked through the woods, past the witch’s house, round the pylon, past the witch’s house again, and then back through the woods, all the way to Nanny’s house.
“Hey Nanny!” I said. “It’s me, Daniel! And I’m wearing a super cool super warm super amazing red coat. And also I’ve brought you some tasty presents for your birthday! Which it is! Today!”
But Nanny wasn’t there. I looked all round and she wasn’t anywhere. She wasn’t in the kitchen, she wasn’t watching TV, she wasn’t in her bedroom, she wasn’t in the spare bedroom, she wasn’t on the roof, she wasn’t anywhere. But then I saw her come rolling out of the cupboard under the stairs and trundling off into the living room, and then she called out, in a voice that sounded EXACTLY like Nanny’s, but also different somehow. “Oh, Daniel, is that you my dear? Why don’t you come down here so Nanny can say hello to her very favourite grandson with her very own voice and look upon you with her very own eyes!”
So I went downstairs, and there was Nanny, sitting in the living room, watching SNOOKER! Or was it darts? It was either snooker or darts. Or bowls. Something utterly unwatchable by normal human eyes, anyway.
“Here I am Nanny!” I said, and Nanny looked at me with her very own eyes, which looked exactly like Nanny’s eyes had always looked, but also slightly different somehow.
“Wow, Nanny, your very own eyes are huge!” I said. “And they never ever blink!”
“All the better to see you with,” Nanny said. “Now why don’t you come a little closer, so I can touch your nice bright red coat with my very own hands and feel how cool yet warm this amazing piece of clothing is!”
So I stood a little bit closer, and Nanny ran her hands up and down my sleeve, which felt exactly like it always feels when Nanny runs her hand up and down our sleeves, but also slightly different somehow.
“Wow, Nanny, your hands are like big metal irons,” I said. “And they hum so loudly!”
“All the better to straighten out all the little creases,” Nanny said. “Now why don’t you shove those tasty presents in that basket you brought me right into my mouth like a good boy.”
“Wow, Nanny, what big sharp weird teeth made out of cogs and knives and whizzing whirring blades you have,” I said, as I began pushing all the bananas I’d brought from home into her mouth.
“All the better to maximise nutrient extraction,” she said, as she minced up those bananas into a weird paste with her food processor mouth, exactly like she always did, except slightly different somehow.
And it was only then, as she enjoyed her disgusting, revolting, inedible, uneatable, utterly inhumanely dreadful bananas, exactly like she always did, that I realised that Nanny wasn’t a human at all.
She was a robot!
Intermission/Interrogation
“And that’s the end of my spooky story for spookyween,” said Daniel, taking a packet of wiggly strawberry worms out of the fruitbowl to celebrate a tale well told.
“That is not a spooky tale, Daniel,” said Claire, taking his packet of wiggly strawberry worms away from him and putting them back in the bowl. “It’s just Little Red Riding Hood with a robot at the end. So no wiggly worms.”
“Oh come on Claire,” Tina said. “Let Daniel have his wiggly worms.”
“None of us even like wiggly worms,” Ethel said. “So he might as well have them.”
“Urgh okay, have your stupid wiggly worms,” Claire said, throwing the packet of wiggly worms at Daniel. “It still wasn’t scary in the slightest. Robots are science fiction not spooky fiction.”
“It wasn’t any sort of fiction,” said Daniel. “It’s a true story.”
“No it wasn’t,” said Claire.
“Yes it was,” said Daniel.
“If it was a true story,” said Claire, her eyes narrowing in the torch light. “How did you walk to Nanny’s house, when Nanny lives on the moon?”
“It was before Nanny moved to the moon,” Daniel said. “Obviously.”
“That sounds unlikely,” Claire said. “But okay, if it happened in the past, how come Nanny isn’t a robot now? We’ve seen her loads since then.”
“She is,” said Daniel. “Haven’t you seen how many bananas she eats? And liquorice! If she was a human there’s no way she’d eat liquorice. It’s made out of oil. And bananas are made of sick. And I think also bogies.”
“You never even mentioned liquorice in your stupid made up story. And if she was a robot she wouldn’t eat bananas or liquorice,” said Claire. “She’d eat electricity.”
“Maybe she only eats moon electricity,” said Daniel, with a shrug of his shoulders.
“And why did you take her bananas and liquorice in the first place if only robots eat bananas and liquorice and you didn’t even know she was a robot yet?”
“Because Nanny likes bananas and liquorice,” said Daniel. “And also it was her birthday.”
“Nanny’s birthday isn’t even in the winter,” said Claire. “It’s either in the summer or the spring.”
“Robo-Nanny’s is!” Daniel said. “And also I was getting rid of all our bananas so that Mum couldn’t make any of us eat them. You should be thanking me not interrogating me.”
“You’re the only one here who doesn’t like bananas, Daniel,” Claire said “So what happened to actual Nanny, anyway? Did the robot eat her too?”
“Nothing happened to Nanny,” Daniel said.
“What do you mean, nothing happened to Nanny? Something must have happened to Nanny, otherwise she wouldn’t have replaced by a robot.”
“Nothing happened to Nanny,” Daniel said. “She’s always been a robot.”
“What?!” Claire said. “No she hasn’t.”
“She has,” said Daniel.
“Yeah, that’s the entire point of the story, Claire,” Tina said.
“Otherwise it wouldn’t even make any sense,” said Ethel.
“But it didn’t make sense,” said Claire.
“Stories don’t have to make sense, Claire,” Tina said.
“That doesn’t make sense, either,” Claire said. “At least my story makes sense.”
“I bet it doesn’t,” said Ethel.
“I bet it does,” said Claire. She snatched the torch out of Daniel’s hand with a frightening show of speed. “Now shut up and listen…”
Claire’s Actually Spooky Story For Halloween
“There’s no such thing as ghosts!”
And to prove it, Claire disappeared from existence entirely.
After Show/Aftermath
The torch hit the floor with a thud, bounced up into Daniel’s forehead, hit the floor again, flickered once, and went out. In the ensuing silence and darkness, no one was quite sure if the story had started, paused dramatically mid way through, or finished entirely.
By the time Daniel got the torch back on, Claire really had disappeared from existence entirely.
“So Claire was a ghost all along?” Daniel asked, genuinely quite impressed. “Spooky.”
“Of course Claire’s not a ghost,” Ethel said. “She’s just copying the end of your Nanny story and crossing it with the end of my spider story and then adding in the end of Tina’s vampire story for some sort of annoying effect.”
“Double spooky,” Daniel said, as retrieved the torch and panned it round the room searching for her. “So where is she then?”
“Maybe she sneaked out the door while we were all waiting for her story to start, get going, or end?” Ethel suggested.
“There’s no way Claire sneaked out of anywhere,” said Tina. “Maybe she’s hiding under the sofa?”
“But I’m under the sofa,” said Daniel. “Maybe she climbed up the chimney?”
He pointed the torch up the chimney but she wasn’t there either.
“Maybe she’s behind the curtains?” Ethel suggested, suddenly yanking them open in the hope of revealing Claire but only actually revealing the cat sleeping beside the radiator.
“Perhaps she’s scuttling about on the ceiling?” Tina suggested, and they all very slowly looked up…
…but she wasn’t up there either (unless she’d turned into a spindly little spider, which obviously she hadn’t).
“I suppose this must mean Claire really did never actually exist at all, then?” Daniel said. “Triple spooky.”
“If Claire never existed, who dropped the torch into your face?” Ethel asked.
“Oh yeah,” said Daniel.
“And if Claire never existed, who even suggested this story competition in the first place?” Tina asked.
“Oh yeah,” said Daniel.
“And if Claire never ever existed,” said Ethel, pointing to the empty spot where the fruitbowl where the sweets had been had been. “Who stole all our sweets?”
“Oh no!” said Daniel. Even his packet of wiggly worms was gone.
“And I don’t even like wiggly worms,” said a ghostly ghastly disembodied voice that came from everywhere at once, followed by an equally ghastly ghostly cackling laugh that lasted until midnight and beyond (when Claire fell out of the cupboard with a thump).
Re: A Cast Of Characters
oh and another one (for some time after halloween)
Tales From The Town #222: Anagrams
“Did you know….” Claire suddenly announced after a brief period of intense silence, her face almost bursting with excitement. “That Claire is an anagram of eclair!”
“Yes,” said Tina, not even looking up from her phone.
“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious,” said Ethel, actually pointedly looking up for a second so she could look back down at her phone simply to show how unimpressed she was. “You just moved the e from the back of your name to the front.”
“I did not!” said Claire.
“Yes you did,” said Tina and Ethel simultaneously together in perfect unison.
“Well okay I did,” Claire admitted. “How else would I have done it? And you’re both just jealous because my name is an anagram and your names aren’t.”
“They are,” said Tina.
“Not any words I’ve ever heard of,” said Claire. “So they don’t count. Especially not Lethe. Or anti.”
“Wait, did you just look all these up on your phone?” asked Tina.
“Well, yeah,” Claire said. “How else would I have known?”
“Do you even know what an eclair is?” Ethel asked.
“Of course I know what an eclair is!” Claire said, without elaborating, verifying, or confirming her claim.
“It’s like an email, but for Claires!” said Daniel, emerging just in time for the punchline.
“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said, with a finality that sent everyone went back to their phones, until several minutes of intense silence later, Claire looked up, her face almost bursting with excitement, and suddenly said “Did you know…?”
(They did know.)
Tales From The Town #222: Anagrams
“Did you know….” Claire suddenly announced after a brief period of intense silence, her face almost bursting with excitement. “That Claire is an anagram of eclair!”
“Yes,” said Tina, not even looking up from her phone.
“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious,” said Ethel, actually pointedly looking up for a second so she could look back down at her phone simply to show how unimpressed she was. “You just moved the e from the back of your name to the front.”
“I did not!” said Claire.
“Yes you did,” said Tina and Ethel simultaneously together in perfect unison.
“Well okay I did,” Claire admitted. “How else would I have done it? And you’re both just jealous because my name is an anagram and your names aren’t.”
“They are,” said Tina.
“Not any words I’ve ever heard of,” said Claire. “So they don’t count. Especially not Lethe. Or anti.”
“Wait, did you just look all these up on your phone?” asked Tina.
“Well, yeah,” Claire said. “How else would I have known?”
“Do you even know what an eclair is?” Ethel asked.
“Of course I know what an eclair is!” Claire said, without elaborating, verifying, or confirming her claim.
“It’s like an email, but for Claires!” said Daniel, emerging just in time for the punchline.
“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said, with a finality that sent everyone went back to their phones, until several minutes of intense silence later, Claire looked up, her face almost bursting with excitement, and suddenly said “Did you know…?”
(They did know.)
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"Oops! That page can’t be found."
This is worse than that thing that happened to Mussolini.
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oh right yeah its not halloween yet is it
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anyway its just what i pasted beneath (story #221)
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re: Tales From The Town #221: Spooky Stories For Halloween
I enjoyed these, as they had the correct doseage of spookiness in them for my taste.
I enjoyed these, as they had the correct doseage of spookiness in them for my taste.
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Homfrus is now officially: terrified
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Also cheers. It was probably a bit too long but it was longer originally (until I cut the first story out)
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re: Tales From The Town #222: Anagrams
Furrah Hor Gnaarams!
Furrah Hor Gnaarams!
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small town simulator
https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/ ... /town.html
a tales of the town game, although the game portion doesn't actually exist yet (all you can do is move into your house, read some books, and look at the weather out of the window)
https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/ ... /town.html
a tales of the town game, although the game portion doesn't actually exist yet (all you can do is move into your house, read some books, and look at the weather out of the window)
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but it does currently contain the worlds worst calendar function (13 months of 28 days, with the extra month called June 2), a time of day system (the only thing tha's different at the moment is that the radio plays different shows at different times - news in the morning, stories in the afternoo - plus football scores on a saturday - and the shipping forecaste in the evening), a weather system (with roughly accurate temperatures and weathers for the time of year, and which might later actually affect things beyond the pview from your window)), an annoying money system (with both cash and credit as separate things, although i didn't go so far as bothering to actually count what coins you have, which i was going to do, so i could add the particular annoyance of needing exact change later on somewhere), and some sort of stats that don't affect anything at all really (except for the puzzle solving one, which makes it easier to solve solitaire the more often you try)
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anyway, if i ever finish it, you'll be able to go to the shops, the park, and the pub, encounter various people, and maybe even have conversations with them. plus manage a football team if i can implement the super simplistic football management game i want to add
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excellent
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very futuristic with the basic income and shit
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also it took me something like 12 goes to finally win at solitaire
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Both fun and impressive!
Fupressive!
Also: My bravery has increased slightly - yuss!
Fupressive!
Also: My bravery has increased slightly - yuss!
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You shall now no longer be too scared to go into the cave (cave only available as paid DLC)
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Also this could probably be used as the basis of a resurrected version of that old space game me, trig and cloudfilter started making, 100 years ago
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Except instead of weather there would just be endless nothing out of the window
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My kinda view!
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The perfect view
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Tales From The Town #223:
Frost and fog
transform the town
into something
else
Better than summer
better than snow
We could be anywhere
now
And we won’t know where
until it’s gone
Frost and fog
transform the town
into something
else
Better than summer
better than snow
We could be anywhere
now
And we won’t know where
until it’s gone
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That's nice, is that. Loikes!
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https://accumulationofthings.com/things ... lass-lake/
Tales From The Town #224: The Glass Lake
Everything is perfectly preserved in the glass of the lake. Shoals of fish, fronds of weed and fern, frogs, frogspawn. Sunken boats, lost footballs, fishing nets, shopping trolleys, a small fortune of coins.
Tales From The Town #224: The Glass Lake
Everything is perfectly preserved in the glass of the lake. Shoals of fish, fronds of weed and fern, frogs, frogspawn. Sunken boats, lost footballs, fishing nets, shopping trolleys, a small fortune of coins.
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Hurrah! Also, can you walk on the glass lake?
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Only until it melts
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I think I'll adopt the swimming position at all times on the glass lake, so I'm not made to look a fool by unexpected melting. 
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Tales From The Town #225: The Kite In The Tree
The kite in the tree yearns always to be free.
The kite in the tree cannot be retrieved. The kite in the tree cannot be dislodged. The kite in the tree is impervious to decay.
The kite in the tree yearns always to be free.
The kite in the tree watches birds fly above. The kite in the tree watches balloons float away. The kite in the tree sees the clouds, the sun, the stars, the moon.
The kite in the tree yearns always to be free.
The kite in the tree yearns always to be free.
The kite in the tree cannot be retrieved. The kite in the tree cannot be dislodged. The kite in the tree is impervious to decay.
The kite in the tree yearns always to be free.
The kite in the tree watches birds fly above. The kite in the tree watches balloons float away. The kite in the tree sees the clouds, the sun, the stars, the moon.
The kite in the tree yearns always to be free.
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Tales From The Town #226: Mince Pies
January snow blows in. Rivers freeze. The town is cut off from the outside world. Supplies dwindle, diminish. Soon will come starvation. Soon there will be death.
And still the mince pies sit on the supermarket shelves, prices reduced to 23p for a box of six, unbought, unneeded, unwanted, uneaten.
We would rather eat Easter than finish off Christmas.
January snow blows in. Rivers freeze. The town is cut off from the outside world. Supplies dwindle, diminish. Soon will come starvation. Soon there will be death.
And still the mince pies sit on the supermarket shelves, prices reduced to 23p for a box of six, unbought, unneeded, unwanted, uneaten.
We would rather eat Easter than finish off Christmas.
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Poor mince pies and poor kite.
I bet they'd be happier if their positions were swapped over.
Also, unlike eating mince pies, I enjoyed these two tales.
I bet they'd be happier if their positions were swapped over.
Also, unlike eating mince pies, I enjoyed these two tales.
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Tales From The Town #227: The Witch, Again
You can blanket the woods in snow. You can flood them with rain. Let the summer sun burn the trees down to their bones. Let the winds blow the ashes away.
Through it all the witch remains. Perseveres. Watches the woods grow back around her. Treasures her privacy all over again.
You can blanket the woods in snow. You can flood them with rain. Let the summer sun burn the trees down to their bones. Let the winds blow the ashes away.
Through it all the witch remains. Perseveres. Watches the woods grow back around her. Treasures her privacy all over again.
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Tales From The Town #228: The Worst Spellings Ever
“Wednesday,” said Claire. “It’s just stupid.”
“It’s no stupider than any other spelling,” said Ethel.
“It is!” Claire said. “You don’t say half the letters.”
“I do,” said Daniel. “I say ALL the letters. Ever.”
“He even says the y,” Tina said, as Daniel stretched the word out beyond a third syllable and into a fourth, and then somehow a fifth and a sixth and a seventh as the Y went on and on and on like a note in a song that never ends. It was beautiful. By the end everyone was in tears (except for Claire who, unsure whether Daniel was proving or disproving her point, had left the room in a rage).
“Wednesday,” said Claire. “It’s just stupid.”
“It’s no stupider than any other spelling,” said Ethel.
“It is!” Claire said. “You don’t say half the letters.”
“I do,” said Daniel. “I say ALL the letters. Ever.”
“He even says the y,” Tina said, as Daniel stretched the word out beyond a third syllable and into a fourth, and then somehow a fifth and a sixth and a seventh as the Y went on and on and on like a note in a song that never ends. It was beautiful. By the end everyone was in tears (except for Claire who, unsure whether Daniel was proving or disproving her point, had left the room in a rage).
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I could hear this narrated in my skull, which deserves a spooky hurrah!dng wrote: Fri Jan 09, 2026 9:15 pm Tales From The Town #227: The Witch, Again
You can blanket the woods in snow. You can flood them with rain. Let the summer sun burn the trees down to their bones. Let the winds blow the ashes away.
Through it all the witch remains. Perseveres. Watches the woods grow back around her. Treasures her privacy all over again.
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slightly updated now with a few more locations (i'd sort of done nothing on it for a month but i've restarted now)dng wrote: Mon Dec 01, 2025 9:42 pm small town simulator
https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/ ... /town.html
a tales of the town game, although the game portion doesn't actually exist yet (all you can do is move into your house, read some books, and look at the weather out of the window)
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contains lots of placeholder text and images
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but you can go and sit by the duck pond now
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anyway hopefully i'll remember to keep making this now
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like a good boy
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Hurrah! If I can sit by the duck pond, then count me in.
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POND - RAINY
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an evocative illustration that one
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anyway if its cold the pond freezes
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Poor cold pond :'(
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Good luck, Pond