Games

[blombluss]

bit of a comedown there from fat worm blows a sparky

Heh! Very troo!

I think it'd be a nice touch if every piece of financial software they now produce had a tricky-to-find 'Easter Egg' of Fat Worm Blows A Sparky or Harrier Attack!

[dng]

What about that shit French company, Infogrames or summat

i think they became atari at one point

[dng]

and were then never heard of again

[dng]

Reading the infogrames wikipedia page is amazing. They bought Ocean for a $100 million in 1996. 1996! I refuse to believe Ocean existed beyond the lifespan of the spectrum.

They bought Gremlin in 1999, which included DMA Games, but then they instantly sold DMA Games because what would they want them for, no ones going to want to play any more Grand Theft Auto games now are they? Not when you'ev got the rights to Zool annd Monty Mole!

Then also they dissolved Gremlin anyway

At some point they they bought Atari (2001), renamed every one of the billion studies they'd bought Atari [location name], then slowly closed down or sold them all off, one at a time, until everyone was dead (2013).

Then since then I don't know what they've done but it seems they're still alive somehow

[dng]

Oh now they're a cryptocurrency. Well that's somehow even more depressing than the entire rest of their history, which was already pretty depressing

[dng]

fuck off infogrames

[dng]

Anyway this bit was good:

Early History

The founders wanted to christen the company Zboub Système (which can be approximately translated to Dick System in English), but were dissuaded by their legal counsel.

But then it was all down hill from there

[An Unicorn]

Zbubb

[CandyDarling]

To be a bit pedantic, they both do video games and cryptocurrency now. The cryptocurrency bullshit is done by Infogrames, who are also a holding company, which owns Atari SA (I'll leave it to someone else to think up an ST joke)

Also I love this bit from that Wiki page

Turnaround strategy

In 2015, Atari announced a turnaround strategy that would focus on re-releasing the catalogue of Atari games. The strategy was focused on "download games, MMO games, mobile games and licensing activities, based in priority around traditional franchises."

Projects in the turnaround strategy included:

Alone in the Dark: Illumination for PC (solo or multiplayer action and adventure game). Upon release the game was met with negative reception.
RollerCoaster Tycoon World for PC (offline or online, solo or multiplayer game), the follow-up to RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 for PC.
A version of Lunar Lander for mobile.[80][non-primary source needed]

There's something hilarious and typically fuckwitted about announcing the first three and then adding Lunar bloody Lander as the fourth. It might be Wiki vandalism but I really hope it was true. Especially as Lunar Lander was a game I once programmed a version of on a Spectrum 128K+ at a computer course that was being held at Butlin's in Skegness, in 1988. I was quite pleased with my custom loading screen program, which was in reality very basic (no pun intended). Also the first session was cancelled because the Butlin's employee who was running it got in a car crash, though he was able to make it for the second one

[CandyDarling]

Oh god, and now I've just noticed they bought Beam Software in 1999 - makers of The Hobbit text adventure, and all the Horace games for Melbourne House. That feels like they were working from a copy of Your Sinclair circa 1987 for their acquisitions or something. Mind you, Beam had become a reliable studio to churn out tie-in NES / SNES / Game Boy / Playstation games by that point, so I suppose it makes sense.

[endar]

an Actraiser remake has just come out

completely out of the blue, for me at least

i'm a bit emotional right now

[An Unicorn]

WISE FWOM YO GWAVE

[An Unicorn]

Wait that's not right

[An Unicorn]

WISE FWOM YO ACT

[blombluss]

fuck off infogrames

Ere Informatique, Loricels, and Silmarils were all better French software companies than sodding Infogrames.

[blombluss]

There's something hilarious and typically fuckwitted about announcing the first three and then adding Lunar bloody Lander as the fourth. It might be Wiki vandalism but I really hope it was true. Especially as Lunar Lander was a game I once programmed a version of on a Spectrum 128K+ at a computer course that was being held at Butlin's in Skegness, in 1988. I was quite pleased with my custom loading screen program, which was in reality very basic (no pun intended). Also the first session was cancelled because the Butlin's employee who was running it got in a car crash, though he was able to make it for the second one

That added detail made me laugh, and I don't know why, but now I feel ashamed.

[CandyDarling]

I must admit I wrote the part you bolded with some slight devilment. You needn't worry, though, he appeared to be alright afterwards, he wasn't injured himself and I don't think anyone else was. I think the cars involved were damaged and that was all. He did have a very Pat Sharp-esque mullet, though, which could have been the cause of the incident

[blombluss]

This looks a touch better than Clumsy Colin: Action Biker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3DEM6XDDTk

[endar]

terrifying

i'd rather play in third person though. First person like that would nauseate me

[dng]

I haven't played a driving game in so long I still imagine they all look like metropolis street racr on the dreamcast

[dng]

But evidently they don't

[endar]

Lovely old stupid MSR on the lovely old Dreamcast with its stupid controller that's worse than the Saturn one

[dng]

Yes. Worst controller ever, but still somehow lovely

[blombluss]

I haven't played a driving game in so long I still imagine they all look like metropolis street racr on the dreamcast

I'm the same with games like Midtown Madness 2, and Beetle Adventure Racing.

[Pual]

In games nudes... telly show GamesMaster is being revived. Fingers crossed they bring back Dexter Fletcher.

Rab Florence!

[Pual]

I’m not sure if he’s Patrick Moore or Dominick diamonds

[Pual]

Or David Perry

[blombluss]

I’m not sure if he’s Patrick Moore or Dominick diamonds

Oooh! If he's DD, that'd be a damn good choice, and I'll be definitely tuning in.

[blombluss]

Or David Perry

Nooooooooooo!

[dng]

"Channel 4's popular video game show, which dominated the 1990s, is set to make a return"

[dng]

the idea that gamesmaster dominated anything, ever, is sort of terrifying in a way

[CandyDarling]

Incidentally, Channel 4 (and Channel 5) are currently in their fifth day of major rolling technical problems after a major transmission centre caught fire. The BBC and ITV are okay because they had proper backups and failure systems in place, but Channels 4 and 5's failure systems... failed to work. Channel 4 is the worst hit of the two, though.

There now follows a tally of every little thing that has gone disastrously wrong for C4 and C5 during the week, in minute and exacting detail

The initial fire, and fuckups resulting from it
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5

[dng]

I'd heard about the fire and that first days problems, but didn't hear about it again so assumed everything was now okay. poor channel 4, 5

[An Unicorn]

Hooray the fire shall consume us all

[blombluss]

Incidentally, Channel 4 (and Channel 5) are currently in their fifth day of major rolling technical problems after a major transmission centre caught fire. The BBC and ITV are okay because they had proper backups and failure systems in place, but Channels 4 and 5's failure systems... failed to work. Channel 4 is the worst hit of the two, though.

There now follows a tally of every little thing that has gone disastrously wrong for C4 and C5 during the week, in minute and exacting detail

The initial fire, and fuckups resulting from it
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5

The broadcaster’s [Channel 5] DR operation then kicked in (indicated by a black and white square in the top tight corner of the screen)

Oooooooh! I wondered what that was all about!

[blombluss]

"Channel 4's popular video game show, which dominated the 1990s, is set to make a return"

Dominated the 90s?!?! We only had four terrestrial channels back then, and even so, it wasn't that big a deal!

[The Robotic Anomaly]

Yeah but Bad Influence was pump really wasn't it

The magazine was great though

[richschnauzer]

[dng]

game of the decade

[dng]

i assume jeff minter himself wrote that advert

[blombluss]

The Jaguar was such a peculiar console. It could do really decent 3D stuff like Alien Vs Predator, but so much of its library looked like tarted up Amiga software, and some it even looks like fancy PD software. And those games still had prices to match those in the above advert.

What a waste.

[blombluss]

i assume jeff minter himself wrote that advert

I haff confession - I've never liked ANY of his games. Sorry Jeff, if you're reading this, they're just not for me!

[dng]

i've never seen a jaguar nor any of its games nor nothing, never

[CandyDarling]

Yeah but Bad Influence was pump really wasn't it

The magazine was great though

This series on Youtube is for you:

Breaking Bad Influence

A little bit like MST3K / Rifftrax, but for Bad Influence. It's mainly one bloke getting exasperated at the bizarre whims of the kid reviewers, making fun of Andy Crane, and telling Nam Rood to fuck off. It's enormous fun and he's into the third series now

[The Robotic Anomaly]

I will give that a watch!

[dng]

i played through shenmue again this week, for the first time since the first time (christmas 2000, i assume). it was weird how i remembered almost all of it completely, and then at the end there's this weird motorboke section, where you have to drive through the streets at night, for two minutes, and there's no other cars or anything on the screen at all, and there's a timer but it doesn't seem to affect anything, except when it runs out the next cutscene plays, and it's utterly superfluous and completely perfunctory and i don't really understand why they bothered programming it up specially for this one pointless use of it

[dng]

thematic call back to playing super hang on in the arcade for hours when you were supposed to be looking for your dads murderer i suppose

[dng]

anyway the first two thirds of shenmue are still really atmospheric and great, when you're wandering around town chatting to people, feeding kittens, searching for sailors, etc, and then the last third at the docks lasts so longa nd is so boring it almost made me hate it a little bit

and then the very end, where the old master teaches you a move, which you can't skip until you've learnt it, but doesn't work at all, ever, was so bafflingly wildly appalling annoying i almost screamed

[dng]

i only got past it when it turns out that if you leave the game playing for twenty minutes without pressing any buttons while you look on the internet to see how you do it it finally relents and lets you skip it and then just says "MOVE LEARNED" anyway

(i have no recollection of this specific annoyance origannly so maybe its a special ps4 inclusion who knows)

[dng]

the cutscenes that play every night when it changes to night time is so lovely though i'll forgive it even that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IOiyNYWqis