Motion Pictures (that anuse me)

[dng]

for some reason they seem to have made a film based on the charles voice synth that we all love so much

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aF3wI1tdh8

[Gravid]

There’s a short film version of that which you can find on vimeo or whatever. It’s good.

[vom]

I wrote another film thing

https://www.the-solute.com/year-of-the- ... er-school/

[dng]

hooray. (i have never heard of that film at all)

[dng]

i still enjoyed the article though

[dng]

i think i am oblivious to about 90% of 80s american comedy films

[vom]

I've probably seen it at least 20 times, albeit mostly 25 years ago

[vom]

also thanks!

[blombluss]

hooray. (i have never heard of that film at all)

This! ^^^

You've sold me the flim Vom, so orf to The Flixer webiste I go!

[vom]

curious as to how much it holds up for anyone who didn't watch it over and over as a child, but I think it's pretty good natured and fun!

[CandyDarling]

I saw it once around 1994 and the bit I always remember from it - unless this is from some other film entirely - is how a new character is introduced about two thirds of the way through, who explains he would have been at class several weeks earlier but he got the "zipper" on his trousers stuck, and couldn't leave the toilets until he'd sorted it out

Hopefully that doesn't count as a spoiler

[vom]

Right film, but slightly fuzzy memory - he asks for a bathroom pass in the opening scenes and then returns right at the end and uses "my zipper got stuck" as an excuse for his absence from the bulk of the movie (and then gets the highest test score)

[blombluss]

curious as to how much it holds up for anyone who didn't watch it over and over as a child, but I think it's pretty good natured and fun!

I watched it last night, and enjoyed it. Shoop/Gibbs should've worn those roller skates whilst tracking down terrorists in NCIS.

[vom]

Good to hear it! And I'd be very much up for a rollerskating detective

[dng]

There's a new predator film on disney plus for some reason, where the predator tries to kill some native americans in 1800 or something but the native americans kill it (presumably, I haven't seen it).

Anyway, they filmed it in an english version and also in whatever native american language that's accurate for whwre's its set, andmade a big thing about how its one of the first big budget films to be in a native language, but then it turns out you can only watch the native american version with audio described subtitles rather than just subtitles.

Which is also the same for every single other film on disney plus, whether its english or foreign language, even though subtitles and audio described subtitles are two entirely different things for entirely seperate groups of people.

Meanwhile, they don't seem to bother doing any audio described subtitles for any otehr languages at all, and only have subtitles instead.

Why are streaming sites so absolutely shit at subtitles

[dng]

Sorry that was long but it was annoying

[dng]

anyway i didn't watch it

[dng]

The other brilliant thing streaming site subtitles generally do is have them autosynced somehow rather than hand synced, so they're all slightly and uselessly out of time, even too early or too late or too quick.

Or use characters they can't display (like ñ or something) so half the peoples names are rendered in gibberish.

And also the standard american subtitling problem of assuming a slower reading speed in the viewer, and so having half as many characters per subtitle compared to UK ones for some reason (which wouldn't be a problem if you could switch between them, but is a problem when you can't so you just get everything reduced to Peter and Jane style sentences that are mostly unreadable, ironically)

[dng]

See also kids films on various things only having the English language dubs rather than the original language dubs.

[dng]

on the iplayer once they had my life as a courgette in gaelic, which was pretty good

[dng]

but taht's a completely different thing to my complaint so i should probably have not even mentioned it

[dng]

Oh also on subtitles the ones where the film is bilingual (like snowpiercer) but you can only either have english subtitles on all of it or no subtitles on any of it are brilliant too.

[dng]

And then they say "well our usage stats show no one watches foreign films anyway" and don't bother letting the algorithm even show you any of the one sthey have just in case you might be tempted by them

[dng]

that's my breakdown for the day hello

[dng]

at least mubi has proper subtitles (mostly) but then if a dedicated foreign film distribution channel didn't manage to have proper subtitles it would be pretty impressive.

[dng]

(also I assume they're part of the curzon cinema/dvd distribution empire, so it's actually the main part of their job to have proper subtitles anyway)

[vom]

sounds a little "sub"-par!!!

[vom]

the audio-described subtitle thing is pretty annoying

[vom]

although sometimes mildly amusing

[vom]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

[CandyDarling]

One of my favourite subtitles ever was when Ceefax labelled a non-verbal but vocal part of a Julian Cope performance on TOTP in the early 90s, with something like "[WEIRD HORSE RETCHING NOISES]" or something like that

[vom]

here is a new thing that I wrote about Aki Kaurismaki and (maybe) his best film

https://www.the-solute.com/year-of-the- ... ut-a-past/

[dng]

Hooray!

[dng]

I haven't watched that one yet (despite you sending me absolutely everything of his before)

[dng]

I'm a terrible person when it comes to ever actually watching things

[dng]

but i might watch it tonight so i can then read your article without fear

[vom]

I don't think I spoiled anything. But also yes you should watch it!

[dng]

I'm not sure its possible to really spoil an aki kaurismaki film anyway (in a good way)

[dng]

I just sat down to watch this and somehow my blu ray player refuses to play it because its the wrong region, even though it seems to be a french dvd you sent me, which presumably is the same region as us

[dng]

thanks brexit

[dng]

or maybe its canadian

[dng]

anyway i could watch it on my pc but that rooms too hot so i might just watch nothing at all instead

[dng]

i'd forgotten all about dvd regions. what a fucking stupid pointless thing that was

[vom]

oh no

regions are the dumbest thing

my blu-ray player is multi-region for DVDs but not for blu-rays, somehow

[dng]

I just remembered that gamecube region bypass disc I bought so I could play animal crossing. It was 2003 I was 25

[dng]

Now look at me

[dng]

(please don't look at me)

[blombluss]

here is a new thing that I wrote about Aki Kaurismaki and (maybe) his best film

https://www.the-solute.com/year-of-the- ... ut-a-past/

I read this yesterday via a link on Twitter, and as always, youse douse write an engaging, informative, and enthusiastic article! Nice one!

[vom]

Thanks! I thought this was one of my best, I wrote it right away after watching the film which I think is better than allowing myself time to think at all

[Bruce Sato]

They are showing KHAAAAAAAN in the cinema around the corner from me (which will probably close soon because it is a Picture House, weeeeeep) on Sunday. I think it is time to go back to the cinema again, just once.